So Close And Yet So Far
by Miaka Mouse
Summary: updated! epilogue! That day. The day she was shot. The day he went crazy. That day. with special thanx to all my reviewers
1. The Explosion

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters…or the songs… or anything at all… please feed the poor college student… w/reviews of course

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters…or the songs… or anything at all… please feed the poor college student… w/reviews of course!

**__**

So Close... And Yet So Far

****

Part One: The Explosion

BOOM!! The walls crumbled around her. Relena cowered, her hands flying up to shield her head. _Not again! Why? Why can't we just live in peace?_ She felt someone grab her wrist. 

"Relena... Come on!" She looked up. Her aquamarine eyes were assaulted by a deep Prussian blue glare. _Heero_, she stared at him, confused. _Where did **he** come from?_

__

When you have no light to guide you   
And no one to walk to walk beside you   
I will come to you   
Oh I will come to you 

"Move!!" he shouted at her. 

__

When the night is dark and stormy   
You won't have to reach out for me   
I will come to you   
Oh I will come to you 

She numbly let herself be led out of the quickly collapsing building. He took her to a nearby warehouse, where a trapdoor led them underground. 

__

Sometimes when all your dreams may have seen better days   
And you don't know how or why, but you've lost your way

Once safely hidden in the clandestine basement, Heero began to check Relena for injuries.

"Relena, are you hurt? Relena! Snap out of it!", he growled, as he shook her shoulder firmly. The look of shock slowly melted as she blinked rapidly. Her eyes focused on Heero's face, but the image was quickly blurred again by her brimming tears.

  
_Have no fear when your tears are fallin'   
I will hear your spirit callin'   
And I swear that I'll be there come what may   
'Cause even if we can't be together   
We'll be friends now and forever   
And I swear that I'll be there come what may   
When the night is dark and stormy   
You won't have to reach out for me   
I will come to you   
Oh I will come to you  
_

"Heero? Why? Why does this keep happening? Why can't people be happy with peace?" The tears rolled down her cheeks like little pearls and she collapsed into his arms. He held her head to his chest, as she had once held his.

  
_We all need somebody we can turn to   
Someone who'll always understand   
So if you feel that our soul is dyin'   
And you need the strength to keep tryin'   
I'll reach out and take your hand   
  
When you have no light to guide you   
And no one to walk to walk beside you   
I will come to you   
Oh I will come to you   
When the night is dark and stormy   
You won't have to reach out for me   
I will come to you   
Oh I will come to you   
_

******************************

Relena woke up in a cold cement walled room that smelled musty. She shivered and looked around. Her muscles and mind ached as she tried to remember what she was doing here. She turned as she picked up the sound of rapid clicking. Heero was typing away at his laptop. _Heero_, she thought as she recollected the past day. It was a routine delegation meeting. She had never expected that anything would happen.

"You're dead." The deep voice broke her thoughts.

"What?" she said, confused. _Not this again. Heero I thought you were over all that,_ she sighed in her mind.

"They think you're dead."

"Why?"

"Apparently, the tracker you were wearing fell off and is still buried in the rubble. They automatically assumed you were still attached to it." Relena's eyes widened. She opened her mouth to say something, but Heero spoke before she had the chance. "The excavation of the building is going to take at least a week, if not more."

"Who did this? Who out there still desires the end of peace? Why don't they just get the point?" She said her voice bubbling with anger and frustration. "We have to call the Preventers. Let them know I'm still alive."

"Relena, the ALOC Organization is still out there. Their mission was to kill you. I think the best thing to do is let them think they have succeeded. At least until the excavation is completed."

"What's that going to accomplish?" 

"ALOC thinks that peace is an unnatural state. They feel that the only thing keeping this world peaceful is you. They want to prove that to the world. They want to show the people that this peace they have attained is false and transient. So they decided to assassinate you, to see what happens to this world. Which is exactly what we're going to do."

*********************************

"Stupid hat!"

"Stop fidgeting."

"This hat will not stay on my head." Relena said, struggling with the fisherman's hat Heero had brought her.

"That's because you keep messing with it." Heero said without turning his head. His emotionless monotone voice displayed none of the irritation in his words.

"Well, I'm only messing with it so it won't fall off!" Relena explained, defensively. Heero stopped walking. Relena stopped too, if only to see what he was going to do. He pulled her behind a building and took off the hat. She stared at his face, questioningly. He ran his fingers through her soft honey hair, gathered it together, twisted it and tucked it firmly underneath the hat, which now fit quite snugly. Heero took Relena's arm as they continued walking.

"Thanks," she mumbled. He had bought her this disguise so no one would recognize her. She was surprised when all the clothes actually fit her. She wondered how he knew her size. _He's the Perfect Soldier, that's how. It's his job to observe and remember every detail,_ she reasoned_. Don't flatter yourself._ They finally stopped at a dingy nightclub. The Rusty Bucket. 

"We're going in here?" she asked, disgusted. Heero gave no reply. He went in. Relena hesitated, and unwillingly followed him in. It was only 5pm so the place was empty except for a few of the janitorial staff and a big burly man with a six o'clock shadow, who looked like the manager.

"Excuse me, sir." Heero approached him. "I'm in town for the week and I need some work and a place to stay. Can I get that here?" The guy looked at him, a bit surprised at his straightforwardness. 

"Sure...we could use another bouncer." His eyes spotted Relena. "We could use another waitress too, especially one who looks like her." He smirked as his hand traveled up to touch her face. Relena cringed slightly, but Heero caught the hand firmly in midair before any of those grimy fingernails could make contact with her soft, smooth cheek.

"She's underage." Heero said giving him the Death Glare.

"OK...no problem," he said with a nervous laugh. "I'll show you to your room. There's a bathroom attached. You should probably go to the diner across the street for your meals. The only thing we serve here is alcohol."

"Hn," was all Heero had to say.

"Here we go...room 2D." The manager said, as he opened the door. "It's got a double bed and everything." He smirked. No response. The manager cleared his throat. "Ok well, the club opens at 10pm. I'll expect you downstairs by 9:45." With that he closed the door and left. Heero turned to Relena who was looking around the room in disbelief. She then caught sight of Heero looking at her and wiped the disgust off her face. 

"We're only here for a week, right?" she smiled, weakly. Heero turned and pulled out his laptop. Relena sighed. _Why do I even try to talk to him? Well, might as well get cleaned up._ She walked into the bathroom. Heero heard her yelp and automatically grabbed for his gun. Relena quickly walked back out. He regarded her with a questioning look on his face. "Cockroaches." She said, shakily. "I think I'm going to take a nap." She cautiously approached the bed. She tested it slowly, first with her hands, then with her body. Satisfied, she leaned back in her pillow and sighed as she fell asleep.

*****************************

Relena woke up an hour later to find herself alone in the room. She grew panicked. Then she noticed Heero's laptop sitting on the desk. _ He's coming back_. She slowly got out of bed and approached the computer. _I always wondered what he was doing on this thing_. She opened it slowly and turned it on. ENTER PASSWORD: "Password? Hmm... oh I know!" G-u-n-d-a-m...Invalid password. _Hmm, how 'bout...? W-i-n-g-g-u-n-d-a-m, nope, W-I-N-G-Z-E-R-O,_ "Argh, I give up!" Which was fortunate, because Heero was on his way up. She heard his approaching footsteps and quickly shut down the computer and closed it. She climbed back into bed and had just pulled up the covers as Heero walked in. She looked up at him.

"You're awake," he observed. "Good...you must be hungry. Let's get something to eat."

Relena hadn't realized it before, what, with all the trauma she'd been through, plus the crude manager and nest of cockroaches. She was starving. She was about to reply, but her stomach replied for her with a deep growl. Relena reddened and climbed out of bed...again. She approached the bathroom, cautiously. Without looking, she reached in and flicked the light on. 

"Alright you cockroaches," she announced. "I'm comin' in and I better not see any of you scurrying around. Got it?" She turned and gave Heero a brave smile before venturing in. Heero raised his

eyebrows, slightly.

**********************************

The bathroom ordeal was finally over, but they were far from leaving the room. 

"You mean, I have to wear this stupid hat again? I look like Gilligan from that antiquated TV show." She stopped herself as she realized she was whining again. "OK, OK, but I can't do this on my own.

You have to help me again."

"Turn around." She turned and he ran his fingers through her again. He secretly enjoyed this. Her hair was so soft and silky; he loved the way it felt on his fingers. He leaned his head forward, ever so slightly, to inhale the fragrance of her hair. He quickly caught himself, and tucked her hair into the hat as he had done before.

"OK! Let's go! I'm starving!" She exclaimed, as she dragged Heero out the door by the arm.

*****************************************


	2. The Aftermath

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters…or the songs… or anything at all… please feed the poor college student… w/reviews of course

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters…or the songs… or anything at all… please feed the poor college student… w/reviews of course!

**__**

So Close... And Yet So Far

****

Part Two: The Aftermath

A tall, lean man stood with a forlorn look in his ice blue eyes, his long platinum hair swirling about him. _I will not give up on you Relena. _A young officer approaching him interrupted his thoughts. 

"What is your report?" He said, losing all the sorrow that had seemed to envelop him just moments before.

"Mr. Peacecraft, sir, I have good news and bad news." The officer replied, hesitating.

"Well?....out with it man!" Milliardo grew impatient.

"Sir, We have located the exact location of the tracking signal, however..." he hesitated again. Milliardo gave him a glare that even Heero would be envious of. "The signal is at least 10 feet underneath the surface of the rubble. It will be difficult to excavate the site without the risk of it caving it in. Even if the foreign minister is still alive, our attempts to rescue her could be the very thing that would kill her."

After finishing this report, the officer avoided Milliardo's gaze, fearing his reaction. It was not unjustified.

"What do you mean, 'IF' she's still alive? Of course she's still alive, you imbecile! Get out of my sight!" He shouted, his anger bubbling over. _I am not giving up!_ The officer took the hint and fled, with much fear in his eyes and demeanor. A dark haired woman was approaching and glanced at the officer as he whizzed by. She looked in the direction that he had come from and caught sight of the pale man standing there. 

"Zechs," she had never been able to call him Milliardo, " that young man was only trying to tell you what you asked for. We will find her, she's alright." She reassured him, with sympathy in her dark eyes. 

"Noin, this is all my fault! I can't believe I didn't have this place checked for explosives. I've become too relaxed. A year of peace has made me careless."

"Zechs! You can't blame yourself. This is not your fault. The only people responsible are the ones who did this." Lucrezia reasoned. _ The only question on my mind is 'where is Heero'? _

********************************

"Hey guys! What's up?" called a young man in a dark priest's uniform. His long braid swung behind him as he walked into the somber conference at Preventer Headquarters. "What's with the long faces? Did somebody die or something?" he asked with a small laugh. The dark haired Asian sitting in the corner gave him a scowl. "Yo Wu-man, I was just kidding. What's going on?" he looked at the three young men sitting before him. Finally, one of them spoke up.

"Didn't you get the message the Preventers sent us, Duo?" he said, peering through his long bangs. 

"Yeah, of course I did. Whaddya think I'm doin' here? All it said was that a new anti-peace organization has sprung up. What happened Trowa?" Duo replied.

"Fool," interrupted the young Asian man, who Duo had referred to as 'Wu-man', "do you think the Preventers would have called us in for such a trivial discovery?"

Duo looked at them wide-eyed. The third one finally spoke. Sorrow filled his innocent blue eyes, as he looked up at Duo.

"Duo," he started his voice trembling, "they bombed a building..." he faltered, "that Relena was in." 

"Wha--, is she ok, Quatre?" he didn't need to wait for an answer. The look on everyone's faces told him all he needed to know. "Is she dead?" 

"We're not sure," Trowa answered. He seemed to be the most calm in the group. "She's still trapped underneath the ruins of the building. There's a chance she could still be alive in an air pocket or something."

__

Poor 'Jousan. I wonder what Heero's feeling. If he's feeling anything at all. 

"Hey..." Duo said, after a pause, "where's Heero?"

**************************

"Ohh, that was soo good. I don't think I'm gonna mind staying here after all. They never have food that good at any of those stuffy delegation banquets." Relena commented.

"..." was all Heero had to say. _At least she's happy. _

"So...what're we gonna do now?" No answer. They walked back into the nightclub. 

Once they got inside the room, Heero pulled out his laptop. Now I can see what his password is. Relena peeked over his shoulder, pretending to fix her hair. A-N-E-L-E-R. She looked away when he noticed her gaze. _Aneler? what is--oh...._ She tried to look at Heero's face but he avoided her eyes and closed his laptop. He proceeded to walk out the door. Relena realized what he was doing and touched his arm. "Where are you going?" 

"I have things to do Relena." he said in his signature monotone voice. He pulled his arm away from her touch and left, closing the door behind him. Relena was still stunned by his password. _ANELER...that's my name...spelled backwards...but why would he use my name?_ Her heart thumped loudly in her chest, as if struggling to leap out. _I can't believe this. I finally give up on him. He's been gone for more than a year. I didn't think he was going to come back. I didn't think he cared about me at all. Maybe this isn't what I think, but still...why? Why would he use my name as his password?_

************************************

"Whew, that was some blast. The building just totally collapsed. These guys really knew what they were doing." Three heads turned to glare at Duo who was staring at the TV news coverage of the explosion. 

"Hey, baka, you could come over here and help us instead of keeping your eyes glued to that screen." Wufei growled.

The other two were carefully poring over the blueprints of the collapsed building. 

"Well, we've figured out where the bombs were set up. But what kind of bombs were they? Were they timed? Or was there a detonator? That could give us a clue as to who did this, and whether they're anywhere nearby," Quatre thought out loud. 

"Probably plastique," commented Trowa.

"C-4, detonated from a 3 mile radius. They were watching." The four Gundam pilots all looked up to see a familiar figure clad in green tank top and spandex shorts emerge from the doorway. 

"Heero!" exclaimed Duo. He lowered his voice slightly and said with a tinge of concern, "Are you ok, man?" Heero ignored the question as a rhetorical one and continued. 

"It looks like you guys are missing some information."

"I'll take it you can fill us in." said Trowa expectantly. Heero took the opportunity and proceeded to share all the data on the ALOC organization that he had gathered. The pilots listened with interest, all except Duo who kept on staring at Heero's face for some sign of emotion_. Geez!! I really don't get this guy!_

After Heero was finished briefing everyone on the situation, he separately assigned them to follow some strong leads. As the team dispersed, Duo caught Heero's arm. 

"Heero, bud, you sure you're ok?" He said, almost whispering.

"I'm fine, Duo." He replied, snatching his arm way. Duo glared at him incredulously.

"Relena is lying under a heap of rubble, probably dead, and you're fine?!" He snapped back, his voice gaining volume. 

"Don't you have some work to do, Duo?" 

"Goddam it, Heero! You didn't-don't deserve her!" Duo finally let it out. "She cares about you, for god's sake! But you don't even give a crap if she's dead or alive!" Heero stared at him, a confused expression on his face. "She kept in touch with all of us, y'know...Always asking how everything was going, or whether she could do anything for us. And then she would always ask about you, Heero." Duo pointed an accusing finger at him. "I asked her why, once. 'Why do you care so much about that selfish son-of-a-bitch?' God! Do you know what she said? 'Every time I looked into his eyes, all I saw was pain, and hurt. I just want to make that go away. I've brought peace to everyone in this world except to the one person who really helped achieve it. I have to—do something-anything to help him.'" Duo's eyes held a profound sadness in them, an almost far-off look. "I just thought you should know. It doesn't look like she'll ever be able to tell you in person." His eyes wandered to the television screen, which still displayed the dilapidated blast site.

********************************

The curiosity finally overcame Relena as she went Heero's laptop. She turned it on and entered the password. She didn't know where to start. There were so many files, and this was just on the desktop. She finally found a folder named 'RP'. She clicked it open. Inside were pictures of her, at delegation meetings, banquets, public relations events, everything she had done in the past year all neatly organized in one folder. He had blueprints to her house including aerial view photographs. _So he's been keeping track of me this whole year. He didn't forget about me._ Her heart soared. _Stop jumping to conclusions! This just could have been another mission. Don't let your heart get broken again!_ She sighed. She then scanned the other files for anything interesting. She found a folder marked 'ALOC'.

"Aha! Let's see what you guys are really about." She exclaimed. Here she found an inventory of missing hardware, and a map of suspected ALOC activity sites. She went to the next file, which had estimated calculations and extrapolations about the capabilities of this organization. They had been stealing materials for two years. With the amount of time and resources they had, the ALOC organization had a probable 2,000 mobile suits hidden away somewhere, with another 500 still underway. Relena's eyes widened as she read the figures_. I can't believe this! After all my efforts, after all the misery and bloodshed, we've come back to exactly where we started!_ Her frustration was mounting, but before she could open the next file, a hand reached out from behind her shoulder and slammed the laptop shut.

"What the hell do you think you were doing?" Relena whirled around to meet his Death Glare with a determined look of her own. 

"Just trying to find out what's going on, since you won't tell me a thing." She shot back. 

"This is none of your concern." He replied in a low voice.

"I have just as much a right to know as you do! I love this world and the people in it. I feel responsible for them." Her eyes were no longer the calm liquid blue pools they always were. They were filled with a blue fire of determination. She was not going to back down. She'd had enough of being protected.

Heero was surprised, almost visibly. She was actually fighting back, against him. The fire in her eyes, he was drowning in it. _Can you drown in fire?_, he asked himself. 

"There's nothing you can do. The more you know the more danger you'll put yourself in." Their faces were inches apart. Relena was flushed with anger, while Heero was just struggling to keep his mask on. She felt his breath on her face.

"Oh please, like I'm not already in the most dangerous position I can be in. I'm ex-Queen of the World, not to mention the fact that I'm the symbol of peace around here and I'm a foreign minister. Do you think

I care if I'm increasing my risks?" She paused. "Or are you just afraid I'm actually that weak that I can't keep my mouth shut?" She said, with a stinging bitterness. 

Heero flinched, ever so slightly. Not at her words, but at the bitterness in them. There was a flash of pain in his eyes, but it vanished as quickly as it came. Relena, however, caught it, and with it, caught herself. That pain again. The fire in her eyes diminished, and she now realized how close their faces actually were. She wanted to take his face in her hands and kiss the pain away from his eyes. Heero, almost reluctantly, pulled his gaze way from hers.

"Heero, I-" She wanted to say something to take the pain away.

"I have to get to work." He interrupted her gruffly. Relena looked at the floor as if searching for some truth written there. When she looked up she saw a bare-chested Heero reaching for a T-shirt. She had to hold her chin to keep it from gaping open. She couldn't take her eyes off his well-sculpted muscles. And then she noticed the scars. An angry red one above his right nipple, a thin white line on the left side of his ribcage, a multitude of small scratches scattered about his torso as if made by shards of glass. And then her eyes fell upon his abdomen. A thick brownish streak cut diagonally across it, as if painted there with a brush. _Or a knife._ She thought to herself. Relena had never realized that Heero would have battle scars. He was a soldier, a Gundam pilot, of course he'd have scars. _So why does it hurt me so much?_ She felt a tightening in her chest. _I want to make him all better. Just take away all his scars. Physical, mental, everything._ If only she could hold him and_--and what? Magically kiss everything away? What am I thinking? He doesn't want me to touch him and even if I could, what would I do? I can't do anything...but I can prevent him from getting more scars. I'll make sure he'll never have to go through anything like that again. I promise you, Heero, I will do everything in my power to protect you._

She hadn't realized it, but she'd been staring at Heero the whole time. He felt her gaze but wouldn't dare meet it, lest they repeat their earlier scene. Clad in a black T-shirt and jeans, he proceeded to leave. He paused a moment before stepping out the door and said in his emotionless voice, "I'll be right downstairs if you need me."

**************************************


	3. Night

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters…or the songs… or anything at all… please feed the poor college student… w/reviews of course

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters…or the songs… or anything at all… please feed the poor college student… w/reviews of course!

__

So Close... And Yet So Far

****

Part Three: Night

"Duo?" a young woman's voice called out softly, "Duo! I saw on the news, Relena's-"

"Yeah I know, Hilde," replied Duo, wearily, as he shut the front door behind him. Hilde embraced him tightly, squeezing her eyes shut as she felt the comfort of his warmth. 

"Do you know if Relena is...?" questioned Hilde, uncertainly.

"We're pretty sure she's still alive, but we don't know what shape she's in, or how long she can survive down there." Duo furrowed his eyebrows and frowned. He stepped back from the embrace to look at Hilde's face. He saw the sorrow in her bright blue eyes, and she saw the same in his violet ones. She looked to her side and withdrew her hands from his.

"Who could do such a horrible thing?" she shuddered, crossing her arms as if trying to hold herself. Duo remained quiet, walked towards her and embraced her once more. "I just talked to her yesterday." Her voice trembling, "she was going to come down and visit us after the meeting. I even baked a cake, I just--" The tears streamed readily down her face. "Oh Duo," she buried her face into his solid chest, and he tightened his hold on her. There they stood in the darkened hallway, buried in each other's arms.

*************************************

"Zechs, you can't stay out here all night," Noin's calm voice trying to reason with the 'Lightning Count'. "There's nothing you can do for Relena by just standing here getting tired and stressed. You should rest. We have to make a statement to the press soon. It won't help if you're any more irritable than you usually are, just for lack of sleep."

Zechs raised an eyebrow. She smiled at him, looking for any sign of concession. He sighed and turned away. Crossing his arms, he surveyed the scene before him. A crew of about 35 workers worked painstakingly to uncover the rubble piece by piece. They worked in a 10-foot radius of the signal they were getting from Relena's tracking device. Most of the men looked tired and worn out, but the urgency of their task kept them going. Relena was their candle of hope; they would not let her die. 

Zechs looked at his dust-covered hands helplessly. _Relena, please, my hands are stained with too much blood to try and carry your mission. I need you, the world needs you. My baby sister, what a great weight rests upon those fragile shoulders. The weight of a world that forbids your brother from lightening your burden._

"Noin," he said turning to the dark-haired woman standing beside him, "I can't go. I can't leave my baby sister alone in the dark." 

*******************************

Heero surveyed the scene before him. It was a little after midnight and the club was packed. He leaned back against the wall with his arms crossed. It was late enough for most of the crowd to be a little tipsy, and the volume level was climbing. Heero's gaze paused at a heavyset man sitting at the bar. He was joking flagrantly with the bartender, or more accurately, about the bartender, in his aim to boost his own ego. The bartender would give him a forced smile from time to time, but focused on pouring the drinks. As the man continued to laugh boisterously at his own jokes, a woman with painfully dyed blonde hair, and clothes a bit too tight for her voluptuous figure, giggled beside him. He caught sight of this and introduced himself. They chatted quietly. She was obviously a lot more drunk than her new friend was and he knew it. 

Heero's eyes narrowed as the two rose from their barstools. The woman stumbled from intoxication, but the man caught her and proceeded to pretty much drag her out of the club. Heero debated going after them, but realized that it wasn't part of his job description. He was only being paid to stop any loud disturbances. This obviously didn't classify as one. He shrugged off the whole situation as if he couldn't care less. Suddenly, he turned to the manager,

"I'm taking my ten minutes." The manager nodded as Heero proceeded to the stairs. He had a sudden urge to check on Relena.

*****************************

The vidphone beeped insistently. Quatre struggled with the lock to his hotel room. 

"I'm coming, I'm coming," he called to the phone. He ran toward it as soon he entered the room. He answered with a breathless, "Yes?" An attractive woman, with pale blonde hair and striking ice-blue eyes appeared and replied,

"Mr. Winner, I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time." 

"Miss Dorothy, how many times have I told you to call me Quatre?" he replied gently, "and don't worry, this isn't a bad time. I just got in actually. How did you know I would be here? I just checked in." Quatre questioned. Dorothy's eyes widened and she blushed, as she tried to reply.

"I—well, I knew you would were going to Preventer HQ and this is the best hotel in the area, so I just assumed—" Quatre could tell Dorothy was a bit embarrassed and tried to change the subject.

"I thought you would be coming down here also." He interrupted.

"Oh yes, well actually that's why I called you. I wanted to know what the situation was before I came down. Are there any new developments?"

"Well, I'm afraid Miss Relena's situation hasn't changed, but her brother, Milliardo Peacecraft has actually come out in public to oversee her rescue."

"M-Milliardo?" This was not a favorable situation. Two major members of the White Fang seen together, would most likely elevate the already tenuous circumstances. Quatre realized his friend's hesitation. 

"Dorothy, it's been two years since the Eve Wars, and the Barton Incident in between. I'm sure most people have forgiven or at least forgotten your previous trespasses." He tried to assure her. Dorothy still seemed uncertain. "Please, just come. I'm sure Miss Relena would want you here." That statement seemed to wash away the furrow of her brow.

"Of course," she replied with renewed enthusiasm, "you will pick me up from the space port, won't you?" Quatre smiled and nodded.

"Goodnight Miss Dorothy, see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Mr.—I mean Quatre." She fumbled, as she cut off the connection. Quatre sighed. This was one girl who just kept getting more confusing.

****************************************

Relena stared at the blank white ceiling above her and let out a relaxed sigh_. Peace and quiet for once...well almost quiet._ She could hear the murmur of car engines and people shouting, some construction going on in the background. It was wonderful. No one knocking at her door to drop a new pile of papers for her to review and sign, no urgent midnight phone calls from paranoid colony representatives, no annoying press photographers blinding her with camera flashes. She could finally relax. Unfortunately, habit and her afternoon nap had left her unable to sleep. She was so used to staying up until 2 am doing something or other that now, at 12:30 am, she was restless.

Relena got up from the bed and went to the window. She opened it halfway and let the cool breeze drift in. Her skin prickled with goose bumps as the cold air traveled over her bare arms. She had found a tank top and a pair of shorts in Heero's duffel bag that would be perfect to sleep in. She smiled as she watched a couple strolling down the street arm in arm. Two friends screamed at each other from opposites sides of the street. There was something so wonderful about exchanging pleasantries at 5 times the normal decibel level.

Heero opened the door slowly, expecting Relena to be asleep. Instead, he saw Relena, clad in one of his tank tops and a pair of shorts, smiling softly as she gazed out the window. The city lights gave her figure an uncanny glow, and the breeze gently brushed her golden locks away from her face.

"Heero, how long are you going to stand there?" she called out softly, without turning around. He started at her unexpected words. _How did she…?_ He dodged her obviously rhetorical question and built up his shield once again.

"You shouldn't stand so close to the window," he warned, "Somebody might see you." Relena frowned and withdrew from her position. She turned to face him. 

"I never realized how wonderful a peaceful world really was. I mean I knew it was good but, Heero, have you seen the streets? The people are laughing and shouting. There's no more hiding from soldiers or mobile suit attacks. Everybody is so…carefree. It's beautiful."

Even in the dark, he could see her eyes shining. His heart felt light from her naïve observations. If he ever allowed himself to smile he would have right then. 

"I'm sorry, Heero. Of course you've seen it. That must have sounded so childish." At this retraction, the lightness of Heero's heart suddenly disappeared. He felt pain for Relena, and anger towards the society that had made her question her innocent and naïve thoughts. The world was trying to make her as harsh as itself.

He stood there, trying to think of a reason to stay a little longer.

"Relena--" she looked up at him expectantly, "close the window." He finished.

"Heero," she started. Heero turned. "I—umm—oh, where are you planning to sleep?" 

"Right there on the floor, of course," he answered, confused. "Where else?" 

"I just don't think it's very fair, that you're the one who's working and running around all day, and you have to sleep on the cold, hard floor."

"Relena—" 

"I know, I know," she interrupted, "you wouldn't dare have me sleep on the floor," a sarcastic emphasis on the word 'dare'. "But like the manager pointed out, it **is **a double bed. It's big enough for the both of us."

Heero looked at her, uncertainly. "Really, Heero, it's ok by me. Why torture yourself on this horrible floor with who-knows-what crawling around?" she said very seriously.

Heero was not one who could out-argue a foreign minister, let alone Relena Darlian-Peacecraft. He grunted his concession and left.

***********************************

Duo passed through the kitchen and noticed Hilde staring absently at the cake in front of her.

"Alright hun, I'm goin' out. Don't wait up!" No response. "I'm going to go blow up some mobile suit bases!" He baited.

"Okay," she assented, softly. Duo raised an eyebrow.

"You wanna come?" _She'd have to jump at that!_

"No, it's ok." She whispered. Duo furrowed his brow.

"I'll be back." He said as he set out the door with new determination. _Those bastards are gonna pay. The God of Death has returned._

Hilde was completely oblivious to Duo and didn't even hear him slam the door. She was staring at the angel-food cake sitting in front of her. It was perfect. The coconut and frosting were spread across the surface with unvarying evenness. She had taken such pride in its symmetry when she had finished making it. But it didn't matter now. The person she had worked so painstakingly for would never see it. She purposefully poked her finger into the angel-food and traced it around the edge of the cake. She stared at the clump of coconut resting on her fingertip, and with decided finality, stuck her finger in her mouth. Her eyes squeezed shut as she forced herself to swallow. Tears streamed down from the corners of her eyes. The expression on her face conveyed one of painful distaste, as if she had tasted caustic acid and not the sweet, sticky coconut that she had previously enjoyed. She pulled her finger out of her mouth and began to weep softly. She cried for her friend. And she cried for peace.

**********************************

Zechs had been watching the rescue crew so intently that he hadn't even realized that Noin was no longer standing next to him. A gust of wind finally broke his concentration and he shivered, suddenly feeling very cold and unsheltered. 

__

it doesn't mean much   
it doesn't mean anything at all   
the life I've left behind me   
is a cold room   


It was then that he realized that he was standing alone. His composure never wavered, though his eyes conveyed an emotion like that of a lost boy. 

__

I've crossed the last line   
from where I can't return   
where every step I took in faith   
betrayed me   
and led me from my home

His tense posture suddenly relaxed as he saw her sitting against the tire of a Hummer. Tired of standing, she had taken a seat next to the vehicle to wait until Zechs realized how tired he was. It had seemed that she was also unaware of her own state and had promptly fallen sleep against the tire, her knees bent up and head leaned back. And it was in this position that Zechs spotted her. 

__

and sweet   
sweet surrender   
is all that I have to give

He walked up softly, so as not to wake her, and settled down next her. He watched her chest rise and fall in even breaths, her lips slightly parted and eyelashes barely brushing her cheeks. He marveled at her serenity, her beauty and how they seemed to mask the inner strength that defined her. 

you take me in   
no questions asked   
you strip away the ugliness   
that surrounds me   
are you an angel   


And he reflected upon himself, the disgraced soldier, with bloody hands and a bloody past. 

__

am I already that gone   
I only hope   
that I won't disappoint you   
when I'm down here   
on my knees   


He didn't deserve the love she bestowed upon him, 

__

and sweet   
sweet   
sweet surrender   
is all that I have to give   
sweet   
sweet   
sweet surrender   
is all that I have to give

the strength she supported him with—

__

and I don't understand   
by the touch of your hand   
I would be the one to fall

__

'No, I will not torture her or myself like this again. She loves me, I love her, that's all that matters.' 

__

it doesn't mean much   
it doesn't mean anything at all

the life I left behind me   
is a cold room

And with that thought, he wrapped an arm around her and leaned the side of his head against hers. 

__

and sweet   
sweet   
sweet surrender   
is all that I have to give…

He fell asleep faster than she did.

*********************************

Sally took down the last eyewitness' report and breathed a weary sigh. She had catalogued all the names of the people involved, a list of those injured, and a testimonial from all those coherent enough to give one. Though some of the reports were far from coherent. From what she had heard, she could gather that the bombs had not gone off simultaneously, but sequentially. After the first one had gone off, Relena had calmed everyone down and led them through the exits in an orderly fashion. It wasn't until the last bomb went off that the ceiling finally collapsed. By that time everyone had evacuated the building, everyone except for Relena, that is. Though the gist of everyone's account was the same, there were some interesting embellishments.

'She was standing there like a Guardian Angel, leading the people to safety. So calm and quiet.' was one tear-stricken woman's. While others seem to be a little delirious, 'I was the last one out and I turned back to look at her as the last bomb went off. There was a dark figure standing next her. It was Death, he had come to get her. The Foreign Minister covered her face with her hands, and I saw him grab her, to take her to the Underworld.' 

Sally read over that one again. _Oh yeah, this guy's definitely wacked. _ At least she was finally done. She'd have to compile a full report for Une later. Sally felt a little sorry for her boss. Trying to keep the peace and quell the public uproar, to give the world a façade that everything was under control, she certainly had her work cut out for her. _But it gives me some extra time to finish this report,_ Sally thought, as she headed back to her car. She tried to rub the weariness from her eyes, with little success_. Why can't I get any of the fun jobs?_

*****************************

Three figures clad in black crept in the shadows of the looming facility. They whispered cautiously to each other in the clandestine wood surrounding the structure. 

"Alright Trowa, what's your poison?" Trowa raised his visible eyebrow. "I got some plastique, your run-of-the-mill dynamite, C-4—"

"C-4"

"Really? We're gonna have to use detonators for that. Why don't we just use the timed bombs so we can get this over with?" Duo semi-whined.

"I agree with Trowa," Wufei finally spoke up.

"You too? What's with this C-4 fan club?"

"Justice, Maxwell. Justice." 

*******************************

Heero opened the door softly. _She's finally asleep, _he thought, relieved as he spotted the crumpled mound on the bed. Pulling off his t-shirt and jeans, he walked to the edge of the bed. Relena's face was turned toward him, and he observed how truly child-like she looked. There was no mask of strength and determination here. Now, she looked as vulnerable as he believed her to be. He hesitated before climbing in to the bed, clad in only his shorts. Resting on his back, he slowly closed his eyes, noting in his mind to wake up in exactly four hours, and trying to ignore the warmth of the body resting next to him.

*********************************


	4. Rain

soclose4

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters…or the songs… or anything at all… please feed the poor college student… w/reviews of course!

__

So Close... And Yet So Far

****

Part Four: Rain 

Drip. Drop. Drip. Noin's eyes fluttered open, as she tried to re-orient herself. She lifted her head, and a shooting pain flew up her neck. _Not a good sleeping position._ Drip. Drop. She realized what had woken her up as more drops of rain continued to fall on her bare head and neck. She tried to sit up straight only to find that she was being held very tightly by a very long—and very strong—arm. She looked to her left to see Zechs sleeping in a very awkward position. She gently nudged him awake.

"Zechs, it's raining," she whispered in his ear.

"Mmm…" he moaned, wrapping his other arm around her.

"Zechs," she urged, shaking him a little harder. "Get up, Zechs, it's raining!"

"Unh?" he grunted. He lifted his head. Drop. A raindrop landed straight into his eye. He rubbed it furiously. "We should have stayed on Mars." Noin raised an eyebrow.

"What for?"

"It doesn't rain there."

"I think that was the whole point in leaving," she replied dryly. "C'mon, let's go inside." He rose, slowly and painfully, feeling each of his little vertebrae go _crick. _ She half dragged him to the Hilton across the street. They were gonna go get some sleep, goddammit. 

*****************************

Heero and Relena walked side by side in the park. The breeze played with her golden hair and she laughed as she tried to control the unruly strands. Heero never felt so weightless in his entire life. He turned to face her, and brushed her hair away from her eyes, savoring the feel of the silky strands between his fingers. Looking deeply into her aquamarine eyes, he saw all the love he could ever have hoped for. 

"Relena," his lips captured hers in a soft kiss, a kiss of true love. His whole body tingled at the sensation. He pulled way slowly and reluctantly to see Relena smiling at him, eyes twinkling.

"'Scuse me," they both turned to see a beautiful little girl, hand extended with a wildflower in it. "This is for you." She smiled sweetly. Heero's eyes narrowed. There was something familiar about this girl. Then he noticed the puppy wagging its tail next to her and his world came crashing down on him in realization. Wing Zero appeared out of nowhere, with its buster rifle aimed at Relena's back. 

"No!" he screamed. He tried to reach for her, to pull her out of the way, but his arms were being held back. He looked at his arms and saw Dr. J's metal claws digging into him, preventing any movement. "Relena!" he shouted as the beam shot through her back and out of her abdomen. "Let me go!" he struggled against Dr. J, "Let me go!" Relena fell to her knees, hands over her wound, as the blood seeped through her fingers. 

"I love you," she whispered, extending her bloody hand to his face.

"Noooooo!!!!" He tore away from Dr. J and attacked him.

"Heero," he rasped, "Stop. Heero!"

Heero awoke from his nightmare to find Relena pinned under him, his hands dangerously tight on her throat. "Heero," he pulled away immediately, eyes widened in shock. He attempted to compose himself, but still appeared disoriented as he walked out the door.

Relena tried to fathom what had just happened. She had awoken to the whisper of her name, and someone holding her very tightly. She had been confused at first and then remembered where she was and what happened. Heero's hold loosened a little and she pulled away to look at him. His eyes flickering back and forth under his eyelids as he called her name yet again, this time with so much agony that she grew alarmed. Grabbing his shoulder, she tried to shake him awake. He started struggling, thrashing around, moaning, "No. No. No! " Each time getting more and more forceful. No matter how hard she shook him he wouldn't wake up. She finally grabbed his other shoulder and shook him hard, 

"Heero!" 

"Let me go," he mumbled, "Let me go!" Then, with a howl of "No" that sounded almost animal he attacked her, flipping her over and pinning her down under him, as one hand clutched her throat. He finally awoke, and then proceeded to walk out the door in that unbalanced state. Never, during the entire ordeal, did she fear for her life or her safety. But she **was **concerned about him. 

Gathering herself together, she pulled out of bed. She heard the pitter-patter on the window and surmised that it was raining, _and Heero wasn't even wearing a shirt._ She grabbed his jacket and proceeded to follow him out the door. Then, taking a glance at her own attire, grabbed her coat in an afterthought and chased after him yet again.

********************************

Quatre stepped out of the shower and slipped a navy blue robe over his dripping body. He grabbed one of the hotel towels and opened the door to the bathroom, wrapping the towel around his strong neck. He turned towards the bedroom of his suite, ready to go to bed. Suddenly, he heard footsteps outside his door. He grabbed the doorknob of his room and opened it almost excitedly. Sure enough, there was Trowa, dripping from the rain that continued to pound outside. Trowa turned at the sound of the door opening behind him, and locked his visible green eye with Quatre's earnest aquamarine ones. 

"Trowa?" Quatre began. Trowa gave him a kind nod,

"Goodnight, Quatre." The earnestness faded from Quatre's eyes and he nodded back politely.

"Goodnight, Trowa" He replied with a smile. Trowa proceeded to open the door to his own suite and go inside. Grabbing a towel from the bathroom he proceeded to dry himself off, peeling off his soaking clothes. His thoughts wandered in the silence of his room. Quatre looked so adorably innocent in his terry robe and saturated blond hair. The color of his hair had turned a dark honey color from the water. _Just like Relena's_, he realized. 

His heart felt heavy as he remembered her state, and he pored over the mission he had just completed. He had felt so justified as he watched the base explode, but as he considered it now, turning it over and examining every painful edge, he realized it wasn't enough. _This isn't what Relena would have wanted_, he scolded himself. It was hard not to admire her strength and selflessness. Even he, who had had very little contact with her during the war, was caught off guard by her consideration for others. She regarded him as a long-time friend, always happy to see him and Catherine too. He remembered how concerned Catherine was when she heard about the bombing. It was uncanny how close the two had gotten in their brief visits. But Relena had that effect on people. It was hard not to love her at first meeting because she loved you right back, with a feeling so genuine, that you never felt you could care for her enough to equal her affection for you. And that was probably why everyone was even more upset, especially Quatre, who both yearned for and offered his love as willingly and genuinely as Relena did—_does! She's not gone yet, _he corrected himself, before finally letting sleep take over.

***************************************

__

You took your coat off and stood in the rain,   
You were always crazy like that   


Helet the rain pound mercilessly on his head, hoping that it would somehow knock the images of the nightmare out of his head. He walked slowly, head slightly bent, allowing the raindrops to sting his bare skin. His right hand reached out for the cement wall, not so much to steady himself, but to give him something firm, hard, **real, **to touch. He wished the rain were acid, so it would burn away his skin, his bloodstained skin. He could be reborn, like an animal molting its dead, lifeless hide. 

He was losing control and he knew it. Relena was distracting him, as she had always done. Staying in the same room was not a good idea. He cursed himself, _I shouldn't have slept in the bed._ Too many bad judgment calls, perhaps this whole plan was a bad idea too. _No, the only way for her to be truly safe is if people think she is already dead,_ he reasoned. His thoughts were becoming rational again, focused.

"Heero!" _Damn. _"Heero…"

__

I watched from my window,   
Always felt I was outside looking in on you   
You were always the mysterious one   
With dark eyes and careless hair,   
You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care   
Then you stood in my doorway, with nothing to say   


He wouldn't turn, he wouldn't look at her, afraid to lose his focus yet again. And then she touched him. Just his shoulder, with her soft fingertips. He felt a warm electricity spark with that gentle brush and he sprang back, turning towards her. 

  
_Well in case you failed to notice,   
In case you failed to see   
This is my heart bleeding before you   
This is me down on my knees _

He looked like a trapped animal, desperate to escape, and ready to pounce. The rain hit him fiercely on his well-toned muscles. His skin shone like marble, smooth and hard as the raindrops traveled in little rivulets along the sinews of his flesh. He was breathtakingly beautiful, even as he glared at her now. His stare was almost blank, as if he had put up a wall between them so we wouldn't have to see her delicate figure. But he saw her, standing there barefoot, wearing nothing but an overcoat over her tank top and shorts, clutching his jacket under her arm. He noticed that the rain that had seemed to pound into him was sprinkling over her like glitter, clinging to her honey blond hair, kissing her eyelashes and lips. The city lights gave her an ethereal glow, and he couldn't remember when she had looked more beautiful. 

  
_These foolish games are tearing me apart   
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart,   
You're breaking my heart   
_

"Heero, you're soaked! You could get seriously sick!" she scolded, extending his jacket towards him. "Are you all right?" she asked, her voice softening. He took the jacket from her hand and finally releasing eye contact, proceeded to walk back to the club. "Aren't you even going to put it on?" her voice came from behind him. 

__

You'd each me of honest things   
Things that were daring, things that were clean   
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean   
So I hid my soiled hands behind my back 

"It's pointless now. I'm already wet." He finally was able to reply. _Well, he **seems** back to normal,_ she sighed to herself, _whatever that means._ And followed him back into the building.

__

You took your coat off and stood in the rain,   
You were always crazy like that

**************************************

"I don't want to hear any details. I want a time. When will you get the report done?" Lady Une's patience at 5am did not run very deep. 

"5pm, tomorrow, that is—today." Sally replied somewhat certainly. 

"All right then," Une replied, satisfied. "I'll expect it in my mailbox at that time." And without so much as a goodbye, she disconnected.

__

Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have come back to the office. I knew I shouldn't have answered the vidphone. How do I get myself into these situations?! Taking a long look at the stack of papers she had had come to drop off, she decided to let them be. She'd work on them after a good night's—or morning's sleep.

She closed the door and proceeded to lock it. As she turned to leave, she bumped into something very hard and very wet. 

"Wufei! What are you doing here? And why are you so wet?" 

"I had to check something. And as for your other question, in case you didn't notice it's raining outside." He said, irritation seeping into his voice.

Sally dangled her umbrella in his face, wordlessly. She looked him in the eye with a condescending smugness that it made him want to grab the offensive object and smack her with it. Suddenly remembering her fatigue, Sally rubbed her eyes, breaking eye contact. Her stance wavered and Wufei caught her elbow to steady her. 

"You shouldn't be working this late," he scolded. "I'll drive you home." Sally thought of protesting, but then decided against it, realizing it would give her a chance to sleep in the car. 

"So, where is your car parked?" Wufei asked, as the walked down to the parking garage.

"**My** car?" replied Sally, surprised. "I thought we were taking yours."

"I don't have an extra helmet for my motorcycle, so we can't take that. You **did** bring your car didn't you?" She nodded, blinking her eyes hard, trying to focus them. She shook her head trying to clear out the fuzziness. Wufei grabbed the keys from her hand and pressed the button on the key chain. The strange beep/tone sounded to the right of them. Dragging Sally by the arm, he walked towards the car, unlocked it and ordered her to go in. She gave him a somewhat indignant glare before tumbling in the passenger seat. 

She yawned as he started the car, and as they turned out of the garage she had already leaned her head against his damp shoulder and fallen asleep. 

*******************************

"Unnh," Hilde mumbled something incoherently, rubbing her cheek into her arm. Duo had spotted her asleep, head down on the kitchen table. It was just too easy. Grabbing the end of his dripping wet braid he had let a water droplet land on her cheek, resulting in the previous reaction. He needed to get his mind off his last mission. He needed to forget his alter ego, the God of Death that had seemed to consume him during the Eve Wars. He felt out of control, uneasy that the Destroyer he had locked away had been released once more to wreak havoc on his life and the people he loved. The person he loved. She would make him sane again. He had a sudden need to hold Hilde close, to feel her heart beat against his. He picked her up from the chair, and cradled her head against his shoulder. She nuzzled her cheek into the crook of his neck as he carried her into the bathroom. He felt her tense.

"Ugh, Duo," she complained sleepily, "you're all wet!" She pulled away, fully awake and he dropped her onto the bed. 

"Yeah, it's raining pretty hard out there." She rolled off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Duo sighed and began peeling off his wet clothes. Suddenly, he was wrapped in a soft white bath towel that still smelled of fabric softener. 

"Need some help?" Hilde whispered in a voice as soft as the towel she had wrapped him in. Turning around in her embrace, he kissed her softly on the lips.

"I need all the help I can get."

*************************************

Heero, on the other hand, was not as willing to accept the help he so desperately needed, the help Relena desperately want to give him. 

__

you come out at night   
that's when the energy comes   
and the dark side's light   
and the vampires roam

She sat on the edge of the bed, absently drying her hair as she observed him. He was doing everything possible to avoid looking at her. 

__

without your shadow getting in the way   
oh you're so beautiful   
with an edge and a charm   
but so careful   
when I'm in your arms

She bit her lip as she prepared to break the silence.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" she prodded. _Yes,_ his subconscious screamed, _Oh God yes! Please I want to tell you anything, everything!_ But the Perfect Soldier had always been able to silence that voice.

__

'cause you're working   
building a mystery   
holding on and holding it in

"About what?" he replied, indifferently.

__

yeah you're working   
building a mystery   
and choosing so carefully

"Your nightmare?" she broached, cautiously. 

__

you woke up screaming aloud   
a prayer from your secret god   
you feed off our fears   
and hold back your tears

Heero could hear the concern in her voice and it made his heart want to explode. **She** was concerned about **him. **It should be the other way around. After all, he had almost…

__

oh you're a beautiful   
a beautiful fucked up man   
you're setting up your   
razor wire shrine

…the thought was brushed away by the Perfect Soldier before it could even be completed. 

__

'cause you're working   
building a mystery   
holding on and holding it in   


"I don't remember it," he cut off the subject. _I wish I could forget it._

yeah you're working   
building a mystery   
and choosing so carefully

He settled in front of his laptop, and began typing furiously. Relena furrowed her eyebrows in a mixture of frustration and concern. _Why, Heero? Why won't you let me in? Why do you carry your pain so possessively? It isn't yours alone. It hurts me as well._

'cause you're working   
building a mystery   
holding on and holding it in   
yeah you're working   
building a mystery   
and choosing so carefully

************************************


	5. Compromising Situations

soclose5

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters…or the songs… or anything at all… please feed the poor college student… w/reviews of course!

__

So Close... And Yet So Far

****

Part Five: Compromising Situations

Sandrock's lights flashed red in warning, as the alarms sounded around him. Quatre fumbled with the controls trying to figure out what was going on. The alarms were getting louder and louder. _BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._ The sound seemed to be getting more high pitched as the hatch opened before him_. Beep. Beep. Beep_. He squinted, blinded by a bright light. The alarms were still sounding, as he shielded his eyes with his forearm. Beep. Beep. Beep. Quatre fumbled around trying to find the source of the noise when he finally opened his eyes against the light. The daylight. The vidphone was still beeping. He answered it, still dazed from sleep. 

"Mr. Winner, it's 6 am. This is your wake-up call," came the voice, and picture, of the hotel clerk. As she looked into the screen, a blush crawled up her cheeks. Quatre, now fully awake, wondered what she was blushing about. He looked down to see that he had fallen asleep in his bathrobe, which was now fully open, baring his very nicely toned (AN: if I do say so myself ::drool:: ^_~) body to the bashful young woman on the other side of the line. Quickly clutching his robe closed, he replied with a polite,

"Thank you ma'am," before abruptly cutting off the line. He bounced out of bed in a hurry to get dressed. Dorothy's flight would be arriving in an hour.

**************************************

Sally twisted in her sleep. At least she tried to. It seemed that none of her body parts wanted to cooperate with her. It didn't help that she felt extremely hot and sticky. She couldn't feel her legs at all. _Probably asleep._ She tried to move her arms and found that they were pinned down. She shifted around some more and realized that one arm was pressed underneath her own body, but the other one… She couldn't understand what was preventing its movement. Finally, she squinted open her eyes. She looked for the offending arm, only to find that it didn't look quite right. 

Suddenly, she heard a soft snore. Her eyes snapped wide open. She realized that **that **arm was not **her** arm. Craning her very achy neck she looked up to see Wufei, head leaning against the window, cradling her in his arms, one of which was tightly wrapped around her own arm. They were still in her car. Apparently, they hadn't left it since last night. No wonder she felt so hot and sticky. The car was an oven thanks to the sunlight's little greenhouse effect. Plus, Wufei was still slightly damp from last night's rain. 

Sally tried to pry herself out of Wufei's grasp, trying not to wake him. Unfortunately, she was unsuccessful. Wufei snorted sharply and his head jerked so fast that he smacked it against the window. Sally stifled her laugh as his hand flew to the back of his head to assess the bump that was most likely forming there. Finally freed from his vice-like grip, Sally quickly sat up. Hand still on the back of his head he glared at her. Sally looked back expectantly.

"What?" she finally broke the silence, "I have no idea why we were sleeping in the car, so don't look at me like this is my fault." 

"As a matter of fact, it **is** your fault. If you hadn't fallen asleep…"

"That doesn't explain why you're sleeping here," she replied defensively. "This is **my** car, and we're parked in front of **my** place. So what are **you** doing here?" Wufei flushed, with anger or embarrassment, Sally couldn't tell.

"You—I—Argh!" he stuttered. "This is so dishonorable." He leaned his head against the steering wheel in defeat. It seemed he was taking this way too seriously.

"Wufei, it's not a big deal. I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for all this. After all we didn't do anything wrong." She patted his shoulder in a motherly fashion. Composing himself, he glared at her. 

"You were sleeping when we got here. I tried to wake you up, but you're as stubborn in your sleep as you are when you're awake." Sally ignored the comment graciously, realizing he was still a bit embarrassed by the whole situation. "I was trying to be nice you know," he accused, defensively. "I didn't want to carry you out into the rain. I thought I'd wait for it to stop." Sally gave him an amused grin. She had to admit she admired his chivalry, to a certain extent. 

"It's still raining," she said matter-of-factly.

"Really…and all this time I was wondering why the windshield was sweating so profusely." He replied sarcastically, obviously over his 'dishonor'. 

"Whatever, I'm going inside. Are you coming or what?" Sally could see the gears working in his mind, weighing the situation. "How are you going to get home, anyway? You're not taking my car." He glared at her. "Come on." She opened her door, and gestured her hand in invitation. Sighing heavily, he gave in. He stepped out into the drizzling rain, and watched her race to her front door. She unlocked the door and called him in with a wave of her hand. Water clung to her disheveled hair, and Wufei couldn't help but smile before following her in.

******************************************

"Zechs, don't you think we should at least get some room service?" Noin suggested sleepily. "We could both use a cup of coffee."

"Speak for yourself," Zechs growled back. "The only thing I need is to get back to the explosion site," he added pulling her down the hallway with him. They got into the elevator, which conveniently also contained a room service cart.

"Don't mind if I do," Noin mumbled to herself, grabbing a croissant and pouring out a cup of tea. The attendant looked on helplessly. 

"Damn elevators take so long. You'd think with the kind of technolo-" he was silenced by a croissant. Noin glared at him lovingly. "Eat." Inside, Zechs was fuming, but he just chewed in silence until the elevator doors opened. 

Click! Flash! "Mr. Peacecraft! Do you have any statement to make on the condition of your sister? Mr. Peacecraft! Is the White Fang still active? Mr. Peacecraft! Is it true that you and Preventer Une are having an affair?" Noin opened her mouth to give an indignant reply, only to be stopped by Milliardo. "My turn," he said smugly, after cramming a taste of her own medicine down her throat. She glared at him furiously, banging on the 'door close' button of the elevator. 

"If I wasn't afraid that I would be accused of assassinating the other Peacecraft heir," Noin began.

"Now, now Noin. We're pacifists, remember?" Suddenly, the doors slid open to reveal a very high-strung Quatre R. Winner. 

"Miss Noin, Mr. Milliardo, good morning! You'll have to excuse me. I'm very late." He pushed himself in to the elevator. "Going down?" he asked anxiously. 

Noin gave Zechs a bewildered glance, as she began cautiously, "Quatre, I don't think you should go downstairs." 

"What do you mean? Why not?" asked a puzzled Quatre. In the back of his mind, a singsong voice reminded him, _Dorothy's going to kill you…literally_. 

"The media's camped out in the lobby, waiting for victims to come out of the elevator," Milliardo seethed.

"So how are we going to get out of this hotel?"

*******************************************

"Of course, I'm just supposed to sit here and suffocate from claustrophobia. I mean how long does he think a person can stay confined to one room?" Relena muttered to herself. "Now I know how housewives feel. Stuck in the house 'til the hubby comes home." The more she thought about it, the more she realized how much like a housewife she really was. Except in her case she was married to her job instead of a bread-winning husband. She was a mother to billions rather than the average 3.3 children per household, always putting her needs second to those she was left to care for. She needed a vacation, badly. "Well, this is as good a time as any. I'm outta here."

******************************************

Dorothy clutched the armrest as another wave of turbulence shook the shuttle. _You'd think that with the amount of money I paid for this ticket, they could provide a decent pilot! _

"We're sorry for the inconvenience folks," the static filled voice of the pilot came on as if cued by her thoughts, "but the runway's packed with grounded flights due to the weather. We won't be landing for another 15 minutes." 

"Didn't he just say that 20 minutes ago?" came a murmur from the other passengers. _Hmph, no wonder some people are still unsatisfied with peace. Things like this could make **anyone** want to revolt._ She settled back into her seat finding comfort in the idea of Quatre's baby blue eyes filled with worry, as he waited for her at the baggage claim.

********************************

Quatre's eyes were filled with worry all right, though mostly with the idea of what Dorothy was going to do to him when he arrived there half an hour late. He tried to free his minds from such unpleasant thoughts as he watched Zechs try to hook the end of Quatre's umbrella to the fire escape of the building next door. In a feat of ingenuity that seemed such a trivial use of Quatre's problem solving skills, they had decided to tie some bed sheets together and then tie those to something that could catch hold of something on the adjacent structure. 

Finally, the umbrella had found a niche. Zechs tested its strength by tugging vigorously on the bed sheets. He turned to Quatre. 

"Now what?" As Quatre opened his mouth to reply, he was interrupted by a loud _crack_. Both heads turned to spot Noin, broken leg of a chair in hand and a wry smile on her face. 

"Zip glide?" she suggested, matter-of-factly. Two more loud cracks were her reply.

****

**************************************

The first thing she needed to find was a café. Sure the food at the diner was delicious, but the only thing they had with coffee in it was, well, coffee. She missed her daily mochaccinos. She pulled her hat down tighter as a gust of wind blew the rain straight into her face. The familiar blue lettering of a Universal Café brought a smile to her face. For once, she appreciated the ubiquity of commercial chains. The feeling of walking into the warm, aromatic coffeehouse saturated her as she ordered her tall mochaccino with whipped cream, chocolate and caramel swizzle. 

**********************************

He needed to get away from her. She was encouraging too many emotions to bubble up within him. Of course he could never give that as a reply to Duo Maxwell's question. Duo should have been used to silence as a response, but he always was stubborn.

"Yo buddy, you awake? I asked you why you're here so early." He paused, hoping for something. "Fine. Well, I couldn't sleep. That's why I'm here. Thought I'd watch some TV before the meeting started." He walked over to the screen and pressed the power button. "Aren't you even gonna ask why I couldn't sleep?" he prodded, as he adjusted the volume. Dismissing any hope of a reply he began, "See, the thing is—" Heero had gotten very used to filtering outside noise. Now if only he could drown out the noise **inside** his head.

*********************************

****


	6. Perfect Timing

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the charactersor the songs or anything at all please feed the poor college student w/reviews

AN: this chap came to me on my trip to san fran... SFO is actually a great airport... but philly pretty much sux... so somewhat based on my experience... and the last scene was one i had in my head ever since i started this fic... u kno how in those romantic comedies, they have the potential couple always just missing each other at the grocery store? ok well even if u don't i hope i described it well enough for u to understand what's going on... ugh ok i should stop rambling now... hope u enjoy!!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the charactersor the songs or anything at all please feed the poor college student w/reviews of course!

**__**

So Close... And Yet So Far

Part Six: Perfect Timing

"Khalid! Can't you go any faster?"

"I'm sorry, Master Quatre, but the rain is making the traffic slow down considerably."

Quatre groaned inwardly. He knew exactly how Dorothy would react to waiting for him for and hour and a half. She would stand there with her affected smile, crossed arms, and an icy glare letting him know exactly how much she disliked to be kept waiting. _Maybe I'm overreacting, _he reassured himself_. She **has** become a bitwarmer over the past year._ "We're here, Master Quatre" 

"Thank you, Khalid. I'll call you when I find Miss Dorothy," he called as he pretty much flew out the limo door. He circled the baggage claim area. He knew she would still be at the airport no matter what. God forbid she would take a taxi. _That was a bit caustic. She's rubbing off on me_, Quatre realized in surprise. He finally spotted her long blonde hair at the Universal Café that was situated in the waiting area of the terminal. _Those things really **are** everywhere!_ (AN: think Starbucks) She turned around, her glare not as icy as he expected, though the smile was very much affected. She was gripping a tall latte in one hand and her roll-away suitcase with the other. "Miss Dorothy!" he called out. Her glare seemed to soften as she made eye contact in acknowledgement. When he finally made his way to her, her tirade began. 

"I can't believe this! Making me wait for more than an hour. I mean, how much can one person take? This is outrageous." Her eyes flashed dangerously. Quatre debated on defending himself, and just as he was about to open his mouth to do so, she started again. "These shuttle companies have no concept of humane treatment, let alone customer satisfaction." _Shuttle companies? What is she talking about? _"They had us circling above the runway for a full hour. I didn't even know that they carried enough fuel to do that!" The flood of relief that passed through him seemed to wash away all the tension he had been feeling since he woke up. "I'm glad you find this so amusing Mr. Winner." 

"Wha–" Quatre pulled himself out of his reverie, " I–no Miss Dorothy, I find this quite inexcusable. We should file a complaint," he glanced at his watch, "later. I have to be in a meeting at Preventer HQ in half an hour."

"Oh? I have some information you could present. I pulled some strings with some old friends and I gathered a list of a few names the Preventers should check out." They climbed into the limo and she unzipped her bag, rummaging through it. "I can't believe this."

"What is it?" Quatre asked, concerned.

"This isn't my bag. I picked up the wrong one. Can this day get any worse?!" At that moment, Quatre couldn't help but feel relieved that she wasn't holding any sharp objects. "I just need to get back to the hotel and take a hot bath."

"UmMiss Dorothy, I wouldn't advise going back to the hotel at this time." Quatre suggested cautiously.

"And why is that?" replied Dorothy, trying to keep her voice level.

"The press has been camped out there since early this morning," he explained. She just wanted to scream, or stab somethingsomeone, whatever. As if sensing her thoughts, Quatre shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "You know, this area has a wonderful commercial district. Perhaps you may enjoy a bit of shopping, to make up for your misplaced items?" he attempted to mollify the situation. It seemed to work and her glacial expression softened a bit. "I have to go to HQ, but Khalid will take you anywhere you want to go. There are some great shoe stores around here," he added with a twinkle in his eye. The car came to a halt in front of the intimidating structure that was known as HQ to the locals. "Enjoy yourself, Miss Dorothy. And I won't have you spend a penny. It's all on me."

"But–" he closed the car door before she could finish. _How does he **do** that? I feel like a million bucks. And I haven't even done any shoe shopping yet! _

******************************

The forlorn song of a piano filtered through the room, unnoticed by all the occupants but one. Duo's chair was precariously balanced on its two back legs, while the table behind supported the back of it. His eyes were glued to the screen that was fixed in the corner of the ceiling.

__

There have been many men that have filtered in an out of the Foreign Minister's life. Her fathers, one biological, one foster. Her brother, lost in the chaos of war, found again at the end. Countless beaux, none who seem to catch her interest. But there has always been one constant.' 

Three heads perked up in attention to the last statement.

"Oh, this is gonna be good." Duo muttered to himself. 

__

Quatre Raberba Winner, the young heir to the Winner fortune and CEO of Winner Enterprises Inc., has been by Ms. Darlian-Peacecraft's side since the Eve Wars. His–

Crash! Duo's chair toppled over, him with it. He was shaking uncontrollably. Trowa started towards him in concern. His face was beet red, tears streaming down his face. He was _laughing._ "I can't believe itQuatre! Hahahaha, of all people, Quatre," he whooped. Heero, who was glaring at the TV, now turned his glare to Duo. Heero did not find this at all funny. Wufei had his own way of reacting to it.

"Those dishonorable journalists! Have they no sense of decency or respect? This is an injustice to the Minister!"

Quatre walked into quite an interesting situation indeed. Duo sprawled on the ground, laughing hysterically, while Trowa regarded him with a quirked eyebrow. Wufei was ranting about something Quatre couldn't really make out, until he noticed the target of Heero's glare. There, on the TV screen, were Relena and Quatre talking and smiling at each other at a conference. The reporter droned on, barely audible above Duo's laughter, but enough so all five pilots heard the reporter's last statement.

__

According to some inside sources, an engagement was purportedly to have taken place on the Minister's last trip to L4, where she spent quite a bit of time at the Winner estate. The couple had expected to announce the happy event at the next Peace Day Parade.'

The shade of Quatre's complexion rivaled Duo's, as his face flushed in embarrassment. Heero, who had finally noticed Quatre's presence, was now directing his glare towards him. 

"Hello Quatre." Everyone's actions stopped abruptly at the sound of Trowa's voice, as if he had flipped a switch. 

Duo picked himself up, with a little help from Trowa. The TV was still blaring.

__

We're here now at the site of the explosion. Ms. Darlian is still trapped underneath the wreckage. Across the street is the Noventa hotel, where we recently spoke to a few key people.' 

An image of Noin and Zechs in the elevator quickly flashed across the screen, along with some other uncooperative government officials. A realization came to Quatre.

"Trowa, how did you get out of the hotel?"

"Bellhop," was all Trowa had to say. He could always find ways to remain unnoticed. "You?"

"I had to climb out a window, with Mr. Milliardo and Miss Noin." Duo, who was still recovering from his laughter, had to stop himself from chuckling. It hurt his stomach too much. 

The reporter on the screen finally found a victim, a heavyset man in his late forties. _Senator Tausend! Do you have anything to say about the rumors that this new organization may have mobile suits?_

All I have to say is that this is exactly what I was afraid of when the Foreign Minister was advocating disarmament. Because we have no way of defending ourselves, any radical organization can take over the government if they have mobile suits.

Sir, you're last proposition to form a military was vetoed by the Senate because of the Minister's influence on the vote. Do you have any plans of re-presenting it?' It seemed that this last question's connotations did not seem favorable to the politician and he weaseled out of the reporter's clutches.

__

Click. Wufei turned off the TV that was causing so much distraction. 

"We need to get some work done now, if you don't mind Maxwell."

"Have you guys written a report on last night's mission?" Heero questioned. Wufei and Duo both looked surprised and then gave each other accusing looks. It was Trowa who replied.

"Not yet."

"Fei, why didn't you write it?"

"Dammit Maxwell, don't call me that! And why should I write it? I didn't even see the inside of the base. I was just the lookout and the getaway."

"Hey you're the full time Preventer. I thought you were used to this stuff."

"Wufei, Duo, get it done after the meeting. Did anything unusual happen?"

Wufei muttered something under his breath about the injustice of having to work with Maxwell.

"Other than the fact that there were no soldiers to arrest, no." Duo replied. Heero's eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean, we arrested a few engineers, and interrogated a couple guards, but there were no pilots."

"At all?" piped in Quatre.

Duo shook his head.

"Duo, are you trying to tell me that this base, with two-hundred and fifty mobile suits, had no barracks for pilots or soldiers?" Duo shrugged.

"I thought it was strange too," Trowa jumped in. "The engineers said that they had no contact with any pilots, either." Trowa could see the gears turning in Heero's mind. His eyes were unfocused as if staring at some far way object. 

"Quatre, you get ready for the press conference. Deny any existence of enemy MS if you can. Trowa, I need you to come with me. I've got another lead."

**********************************

Ice blue eyes scrutinized very carefully, concentrated on an extremely vital mission. Failure was not an option. Dorothy was searching for the perfect black sandal. Her hands trailed gently along the display. The door jingled at the entrance of another customer as Dorothy finally found what she was looking for. She signaled to the salesperson, who hurried to her side. 

"Yes?" said the very eager clerk.

"I need this in a size 8."

"Yes ma'am."

Relena looked greedily at the rows of shoes. She hadn't been shopping in ages. There was never any time to any more. The salesgirl whizzed past her, and Relena looked at her in surprise. Dorothy had moved into the next aisle, unnoticed by the new customer. She moved on to look at some pumps, while Relena, perfectly parallel with her on the opposite side of the shoe rack, looked for some boots. After finding a great pair of knee-highs, Relena moved towards the back of the store, as Dorothy walked up to the front. 

With a synchronization that was almost surreal, they each entered the aisle that the other had just left, from opposite ends. Relena's eyes caught sight of the same strappy sandals Dorothy had just selected. She called to the salesgirl and asked for a size 6 and a half. She and Hilde had the same shoe size. Hilde had more than once bought her a pair of shoes, which was one of the reasons Relena hadn't found the need to go shopping in a while. 

Having found something she liked, Relena walked towards the register, where Dorothy was at that very moment. Her back was facing Relena, and just as Dorothy turned to face her direction, Relena accidentally knocked over one of the displays. She bent down to pick up the shoe, and as she raised herself back up, Dorothy had finished paying. As she waited for the clerk to bag her purchase, her gaze wandered to the selection of handbags. Relena came up to the register, and when the girl told her the price, she began to rummage through her bag, trying to find some currency that would be untraceable. Dorothy looked towards the register, as Relena's head was bent down to look in her bag. She was still wearing that hideous fisherman's cap and Dorothy looked in slight disgust at this woman's fashion sense, unaware that it was her friend. Dorothy continued examining the handbags until the tag caught her eye. _Genuine Imitation._ She pulled her hand away in disgust, as if the bags were covered in slime.

Relena finally found something she could pay with and completed her purchase. Dorothy was on her way out as Relena followed behind her. They exited through the door simultaneously, their shopping bags colliding with each other. 

"Excuse me."

"Sorry." 

They turned in opposite directions onto the sidewalk, and walked away from each other, never knowing that they had missed each other with perfect timing.


	7. Evasive Action

AN: yay user user 3 14 2001-10-24T18:12:00Z 2001-10-24T18:26:00Z 4 1864 10626 rucs 88 21 13049 9.2720 

AN: yay! Finally finished this chapter… it's nice and long… to make up for the delay… so we're gonna have more fun w/wuffie (muahahaha)..  Not much Heero or Relena interaction or character development…but some plot development (finally) so enjoy.. I hope…thanx! 

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters…or the songs… or anything at all… please feed the poor college student… w/reviews of course!

_So Close... And Yet So Far Part Seven: Evasive Action _ The mobile suits stood like a row of stone cold graves… 

"Maxwell!"

"What?! Geez, if you're gonna scream, can you not stand right next to me?" Duo replied, sticking a finger in his ear.

"We are **not writing a novel here.  There's no need for any fancy prose."**

"You think it's fancy?  Aww, Wuffie, I'm so flattered."  He said with mock bashfulness.

"Maxwell," Wufei warned.

"I think we need a break.  Hey, the press conference is starting in half an hour.  Why don't we check it out?"

"We have to finish this report first.  And if you would stop getting so distracted, we could have been finished by now."

"Oh c'mon Wu, this report will still be here when we come back.  Can't we just take a little teensy-weensy break?"  He whined, giving Wufei big puppy-dog eyes.

"You're such an idiot, Maxwell," Wufei replied, rolling his eyes.  He walked towards the door.

"I know, isn't it great?" Duo grinned. "Hey, where're you goin'?" 

"Where do you think, baka? The press conference." Wufei replied, stopping halfway through the door to shoot an exasperated glare at Duo. 

"Wait for me!" Duo scampered to the door. "You weren't **really going to leave without me, were you?"**

"Max—oof!" he grunted, as he collided with something warm and soft. "Sally!"

"Why is it that we can never meet without our bodies colliding?" Sally said with an amused look on her face.

"Animal magnetism?" Duo chirped in from behind Wufei.  Sally chuckled while Wufei gave Duo another warning 'Maxwell'.

"So what are you guys doing?" Sally inquired.

"We're gonna go watch Quatre get eaten alive by all those reporters."

"Oh, the press conference? I was just on my there too."

"So you finally finished that report for Lady Une?" came Wufei's surprised question. Sally's amused smile was quickly replaced by a look that reminded Duo of a six-year-old caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"Um…almost?" She offered weakly.  Duo laughed aloud.

"See? Even Sally knows when to take a break!"

"Let's just go," muttered Wufei.

"Can we get a ride with you, Duo?" Sally asked.

"Sure," Duo replied, a bit surprised, "but don't either of you have your own car?"

"Well, it's still raining, so Wufei can't take his motorcycle. And my car got all wet from the inside yesterday because of the rain so it smells really bad now. I'd rather not drive it if I don't have to." She explained.  

"Hey, no problemo, I've got more than enough room. That's what SUV's are for," he grinned. "For good times, and bad times…" he sang, "that's what SUV's are for!" Wufei smacked his own forehead in exasperation.

"Can we just get going?"  They hopped into Duo's black (A.N.: as if it could be any other color) SUV, Sally in the front and Wufei in the back. "I'd rather not watch Maxwell drive," he explained to Sally when she offered to switch places.  She just shook her head with a wry smile and snapped on her seatbelt.  Finally, as they pulled out of the parking garage, Duo had a sudden realization.

"Wasn't raining this morning?"

"Yeah," Sally replied quizzically.

"So, how did Wufei get to work this morning?" 

Sally and Wufei's eyes met in sudden apprehension as they realized they were caught.

***************************

"We're never gonna get a seat," a petite blonde complained to her tall companion.

"Of course we are.  Just trust me," the man replied with a nonchalant wave of his hand.

"Can't you even pretend to hurry?"

"Hey, I'm walking as fast as I can. Oh! Sorry." The man was interrupted as someone bumped into him. "See? Look what you made me do. Just calm down."

"This is the one chance I get to see Quatre Winner. Indulge me."

"I'll never understand your infatuation with this guy.  He's a pacifist!  I mean I can understand a crush on a vidstar, but this guy's a politician."  She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.  It was the guy they had bumped into.

"Excuse me, you dropped this back there."  He presented a wallet to the man, who accepted it with surprise. _Smack! The girl whacked her companion in the arm._

"You idiot! Some good your VSC press pass would do if you lost your wallet.  Thank goodness for good Samaritans, even if he **did have weird hair." The blonde prattled on as she and her companion hurried to the press conference.**

Trowa fingered the access key card in his pocket with amusement.  _Too easy._

***********************************

"Yes, I understand.  Thank you, Lady Une. I will." The vid-phone flickered off and Quatre slumped in his seat.  His elbows on his knees, he cradled his head in his hands.  _I can do this.  I **have to do this. For the good of the people. To maintain peace. No, I have to do this for Relena.  A soft knock at the door interrupted his thoughts.  He opened the door and was startled by the sight of Relena standing there with gentle smile on her face. "Wha--?"**_

"Quatre! Are you all right?" _Dorothy?  He shook his head to clear his eyes.  The stress was really getting to him.  How could he think **Dorothy was Relena?  When he looked again he realized how much Dorothy's expression actually resembled Relena's.  She was a different person now.  The cool, calculating glare and sly smirk were no longer etched into her face.  Instead, her pale blue eyes were filled with worry as her mouth curved softly in a slight frown. It was the same way Relena looked every time she watched peace teeter on the razor's edge of war.  "Are you ready to go?" Dorothy inquired, her concern still evident in the tone of her voice. **_

"Yes, Dorothy. Thank you." He walked over to her and offered his arm to her. "Shall we?"  She looked a little startled at first, but then accepted the proffered arm. 

To say the press was surprised to see the two of them walk into the conference room together would be an understatement.  Cameras flashed furiously, accompanied by a barrage of questions.  It seemed, however, that everyone was asking the same thing. "Mr. Winner! Are you having an affair with Dorothy Catalonia?" Quatre could feel Dorothy tense beside him and gave her arm a reassuring squeeze.  They made eye contact upon reaching the podium and Dorothy backed away towards the wall. Quatre pulled out his note cards, set them atop the lectern, and cleared his throat loudly to signal the beginning of his speech.  All sounds ceased, and Quatre had the eerie feeling of being in a vacuum.  The journalists were rapt with attention; pencils ready to take down every word he was about to say.

"Citizens of the Earth Sphere, ladies and gentleman of the press, I stand before you now as a representative of one who has given us everything we cherish in our lives today.  Relena Peacecraft gave us hope and happiness.  She gave us peace." He paused. "However, it is for that very reason that she is not here today.  Yesterday, a concentrated group of terrorists bombed the ESUN Delegation Conference in an effort to assassinate the Vice-Foreign Minister and, in turn, destroy peace.  All we can do is hope and pray that they have not succeeded in their first objective.  We have some reason to believe that the Minister is still alive underneath the rubble, perhaps in an air pocket.  The workers who you see across the street are trying their hardest to rescue our beloved Princess.  However, as of early this morning, the work has been halted.  Our experts have told us that it is too risky to continue digging in this rain as we may trigger a mudslide.  As long as there is some hope that Ms. Peacecraft is alive, we cannot compromise her safety." He took a deep breath before continuing, _Relena please lend me your strength._ "Now, although we have that hope, we must be realistic.  We cannot expect her to suddenly rise out of the ruins and bring peace back to us.  Now is the time that we must act upon the Minister's words.  We are the only ones who can prevent these terrorists from accomplishing their goal.  We are the only ones who can save peace now.  They have shaken us to our very core by hurting the one we all love.  But we cannot let them frighten us into another war.  We will fight for our peace.  Not with arms or mobile suits, but with our will, with our determination.  We cannot let everything we have suffered for collapse because of our weaknesses.  We must build on this tragedy to make a better future for all our generations to come. Now is the time to come together, to make our Princess of Peace proud. We will do this for Relena." He bowed his head, trying to control the lump rising in his throat.  He swallowed hard and continued, "Thank you, I will take questions now."

*********************************

An elegant hand brushed the vid-screen and traced the image of Quatre Winner with soft fingertips.  A lone tear traveled down Relena's pale cheek.

"Thank you, Quatre."

****************************************

Heero crawled through the air vents, cursing his growth spurt.  This type of infiltration seemed so much easier a few years ago.  He could hear a myriad of voices outside and tried to distinguish his location by picturing the blueprints of the building, which he had downloaded only moments ago.  He needed to find the Registrar. 

Trowa, on the other hand, was wandering around the multi-story Headquarters of the VSC (Veteran Soldiers' Coalition), looking for a vid-screen to watch Quatre's speech on.  Strangely enough, he couldn't find one.  This was a highly publicized press conference.  Wasn't anybody interested? His questions were somewhat answered when he came upon the giant auditorium.  The room was packed.  It seemed as though the entire population of the building had stuffed itself in to the rows of seats.  At the podium on the stage, a well-dressed, heavy-set man was giving a speech.  Trowa walked into the room, intrigued, and leaned against the rear wall to listen.

"In the face of this great tragedy, we must come together and defend our way of life.  It is you, the brave soldiers who have fought a war for peace once before, who will be asked to do it once again.  My only question is, do you have the strength to do it?  Do you have the conviction?"

Trowa furrowed his brow. "Who is he?" he asked no one.  'No one' replied.

"Senator Tausend." Heero shifted uncomfortably in his cramped position. _That's why he looks so familiar,_ Trowa thought to himself. _The news this morning._  "Outside, half an hour," Heero's hushed monotone voice interrupted his train of thought. 

Trowa replied with a 'hn', and stepped away from the vent.  Heero continued his trek.  He finally reached the Registrar's office and pried open the flimsy grate. Surveying the area quickly, he climbed out of his hiding place.  When he finally had his feet on the ground, he brushed off the cobwebs and dust bunnies that were clinging to him, with disgust. He seriously contemplated another way out before making his way to the main computer.  He was somewhat surprised at the emptiness of the office, but realized that the occupants were mostly likely down the hall at the auditorium.  He downloaded the hard disk and walked back to the air duct, hesitatingly.  Suddenly, he picked the grate up off the floor and gently put it back into place.  Then he walked over to the window and climbed out.  It was only two flights up, 10-15 meters.  He jumped gracefully off the ledge and landed with the agility of a cat. 

"Show off," Trowa's voice came from behind him.

"You would have done the same thing."  The corner of Trowa's mouth curved slightly, in what only Heero could detect as a sheepish smile. 

"Apparently, Senator Tausend comes to give speeches here every month.  He also accepts quite a bit of campaign donations from the VSC." 

"Not all that suspicious, considering Relena helped form the organization and gave the opening speech on the founding day." Trowa raised an eyebrow. 

"So what are your ideas?"

"We need more evidence."

"Which you've already obtained I gather."

"Hn."  The two taciturn pilots made their way back to Preventer Headquarters without another word spoken between them.

Preview for **Part 8: Red-Handed:**

Heero climbed up the stairs hurriedly.  He couldn't fight the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.  Something was not quite right. He could sense it, and his instincts were never wrong. His hand clutched the doorknob with foreboding dread, and he pushed the door open.

"Relena?"

The room was empty.

AN: Muahahahaha!! I am evil! I admit it… :-Þ


	8. RedHanded

AN: Well it's here… finally… hehe… yeah yeha I kno I said thanksgiving but… this is close enough..rite?  I mean it IS still November at least… hehe ok well.. we finally got some Heero/Relena interaction, but more towards the end. I wasn't going to stop it there but I decided it would be waaayyyy too long if I kept going…  so expect 2 more parts and an epilogue… I think… I hope… ok enough rambling from me… go read now.. ^_^

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters…or the songs… or anything at all… please feed the poor college student… w/reviews of course!

_So Close... And Yet So Far _

**Part Eight: Red-Handed**

_Beep-Beep. Beep-Beep._ Sally stared at the vi-phone intently, silently willing it to stop ringing.  _Please don't let it be Une. Please don't let it be Une._  She raised a hesitant finger to the 'accept' button. 

It was Une….

And she didn't look happy.

"It's seven o'clock," was Une's only greeting as her image popped up on the screen.

"I see." Une didn't look like she was open to any explanations.

"No, I don't think you do, Preventer Po." Sally bit the insides of her cheeks to brace for the incoming blow that usually followed such formal address. "Heero Yuy just tried to download some information off my database. Keyword: tried. Unfortunately the information wasn't there.  This is where you come in.  When you give me an ETA, I expect you to meet it.  You told me this morning, you'd send the report to me by 5 pm. I repeat: It's seven o'clock."  Sally took a deep breath and nodded.  She realized the gravity of the situation.  Every second counted, and this was not an opportune time to delay any exchange of information.

"I'm sorry, Lady Une.  It won't happen again.  I'm sending the report now."

"Good. Yuy should be coming in soon to obtain the information in person."

"I understand." The screen flickered off and Sally released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.  There was a knock at the door. _Right on time_. "Enter." Heero entered the room with his usual intense matter-of-fact-ness. 

"Sally-" he began.

"Already way ahead of you," she interrupted. "Here's the report." She offered him a stack of papers, which he eyed hesitantly.

"Actually, I just needed you to answer one question for me." Sally raised an interested eyebrow. "Senator Tausend was listed as a participant of the conference.  Did you get a statement from him?"

"Let me see…"

*************************************

The soft, melodious sound of whistling filled the hallways, as Duo strolled through them casually.

"Duo." Duo whirled around, reflexively crouching into a defensive position.

"Where the hell did you come from?" Then, recovering his usual relaxed posture, 'don't sneak up on me like that, buddy." His 'buddy' glared. 

"I don't suppose you've finished your report."  Heero said very matter-of-factly. 

"You suppose wrong, my friend. The Chang-man is typing it up and entering it into the database as we speak," Duo replied smugly. "But not until **after** he kicked me out of the room," he grumbled under his breath.

"Duo." He looked up.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up. I need you to answer a question for me."

"He-" Duo started, then thought better of it after noticing the look/glare on Heero's face.

"The mobile suits that you destroyed at the base, did they have any distinct coloring or insignia? Any distinguishing marks?" Duo furrowed his brow as he tried to remember.

"No," he replied, a bit surprised. "Nothing, actually it looked as if they were waiting to be painted. The shell itself was pretty generic too." He looked to Heero, but his friend had vanished. "Wait! Why?"

*******************************************

It was all coming together. All he needed now was hard evidence, and that was just a matter of time.  Unfortunately, time is money, and Heero was running late for his job at the nightclub.  He hadn't had contact with Relena for the entire day. Not since the 'incident' early this morning.  He was letting his emotions compromise his mission, compromise her safety. Heero climbed up the stairs hurriedly.  He couldn't fight the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.  Something was not quite right. He could sense it, and his instincts were never wrong. His hand clutched the doorknob with foreboding dread, and he pushed the door open.

"Relena?"

The room was empty. 

He scanned the room urgently, calculating all possibilities. Window: closed and locked; Door: intact, no sign of break in; Room: no sign of struggle.

"Heero? Is that you?" A voice broke into his intense concentration.

"Relena," he sighed, unable to hold back his relief. "Where are you?" 

"In the bathroom. I was just about to take a shower." Heero jiggled the bathroom doorknob insistently.

"Open the door, Relena." Relena franticly eyed the numerous shopping bags heaped on the tiled floor in front of her.

"No!" she said a bit too forcefully.

"Relena," he warned. Something **was** wrong. 

"Heero, you can't come in.  I'm not dressed." He froze. Not dressed. Not 'not **properly** dressed'. Not dressed. He tried to block the mental image that was forming in his mind.

"Heero?" His eyes widened at the door. Swallowing dryly, he backed away from it. He was late for work.

"I'm going downstairs," he called back to her, controlling his voice. Relena sighed in relief as she heard the door close.  She surveyed her purchases thoughtfully, a mischievous smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

*****************************

While Heero was trying his hardest to keep his mind out of the gutter, Duo was letting his wallow in it. 

"So tell me again how Sally ended up giving you a ride to work?" Wufei continued to stare out the window watching the steady beat of streetlights they passed.  After Sally had told him she would be working late, he decided to catch a ride with Duo.  He'd witnessed Maxwell's driving skills firsthand on the way to the conference, and they were acceptable.  At the time he had thought a twenty-minute car ride with Duo would be worth getting home a few hours early.  Unfortunately, he had overestimated his own patience.  "C'mon, I know there's something going on between you two." Duo pulled his gaze away from the road to give Wufei a quick glance to see a reaction.  There was none. He turned back to the road.  "Holy shit!" His eyes widened in shock. 

"What? What happened?" Wufei finally allowed himself to look at Duo. 

"You're wearing the same clothes as yesterday! Jesus H. Christ!  You did sleep with her didn't you?"

"Kisama, Maxwell. I thought you saw something on the road or something.  Stop acting like an idiot and mind your business!" Wufei raged.

"Now, now Wu. Don't wanna kill the driver, do we? That would be bad." 

"I'm not so sure."

"All right, geez! Touchy touchy." He mumbled under his breath.

***************************

"I don't think so." Heero glared at the sixteen-year old juvenile as he tried to flash him a fake ID.  Trying to pass for 24, it was almost insulting to Heero's keen observation skills.  

"That's enough, Yuy.  At the rate you're going, this place will never fill up." The manager clapped a hand on his shoulder.  "You can go inside.  Mitch'll take it from here." Heero nodded in affirmation and left his post.  He scanned the smoke-filled dance floor and noticed the heavyset man from yesterday.  The same man who had dragged that under-dressed drunk woman out of the nightclub last night. Heero watched his movements like a hawk.  The guy made his way to the bar, obviously targeting a new victim.  Heero followed his gaze and noticed the extremely attractive woman sitting there cross-legged. 

She was dressed completely in black, accenting her pale skin and complementing her raven black hair.  Her back was turned towards him, but he could see the silver bangles on her arms and the black leather knee-high boots the clung seductively to her legs.  She didn't seem to belong here. Heero's eyes narrowed.  No she didn't belong here at all.  She was too tastefully dressed. A spy? Maybe someone had recognized him and followed him here.  No, he would have noticed. Unless…Relena. Of course!  How could he have been so stupid? Relena had to have gone out to eat.  At least across the street.  What if somebody had spotted her?  This woman could be here to finish the job. Her short hair swooped over her brow and one eye, obscuring her profile.  The hairstyle reminded him of Noin, but this woman was slightly curvier.  Her style of dress was more like Hilde's, right down to the 'fuck-me' boots, as Duo so affectionately termed the pair she liked to wear.  

Heero adjusted his position in order to get a better line of sight.  He could make out the tip of her nose and her lips. Her lips. He found himself captivated by them.  Glossed in silver, smiling softly to the bartender as he handed her a bowl of cherries.  He watched her delicate hand reach for a maraschino cherry, dainty fingertips grasping the stem as she dipped it into her drink.  He noticed the martini set on the counter in front of her, and was mesmerized as she swirled it in circular motions with the cherry.  He blinked when she stopped suddenly, and lifted the dripping fruit from the glass.  She brought the cherry to her lips and extended her pink tongue to grasp the sweet sphere into her mouth.  Heero licked his lips as she pulled the stem off and smiled at the bartender again. 

He tried to bring his thoughts back into some semblance of rationality.  She couldn't be a spy.  She wouldn't be sitting so relaxed at the bar.  She wouldn't be consuming alcohol.  Then again, she wasn't really drinking the alcohol, was she? She seemed to avoid actually bringing the glass to those soft, sweet lips of hers. Heero shook his head impatiently. _Sweet?_  Now how in the world would he know if her lips were sweet? _There are ways to find out._  He shook his head again and set his mind into soldier mode.  

The heavyset man finally made his move on the unsuspecting young woman.  She shook her head gently, gesturing to the drink in front of her and turned away from him.  He asked her something. She gave him a tight smile, cradled her martini glass between two fingers and swallowed a mouthful of the clear liquid.  She turned away again.  The man seemed enflamed by her gesture and grabbed her arm.  Heero leapt forward.  He was not going to let this man take advantage of another woman.  What was this sudden chivalry? She could be working for ALOC.  He needed her for information, the soldier rationalized.  Grabbing the man's collar, he pulled him off the stool.  The man was a good head taller than Heero, but he was no match for the Death Glare. His bushy eyebrows furrowed in anger and he opened his scruffy mouth to release a tirade of insults.  But before he could utter a syllable, he was thrown to the ground.  When he tried to get up again, Heero grabbed him again and threw him out the door.  The manager gave him a questioning look.

"He was causing trouble," Heero offered.  The bartender gave him a grateful smile, but Heero was looking elsewhere.  The girl (for he could see now that she was barely eighteen) was looking at him wide-eyed, an amused grin playing across her lips. Heero suddenly found himself thinking that she looked familiar. As he regarded her thoughtfully, her grin grew into an all-out smile, almost blinding in its brilliance.  And then, to his horror, he realized who it was.

"Relena…" 


	9. Stolen Moments

AN: hiya ppl. back again w/a new chap. didn't keep u waiting too long I hope! Ok.well unfortunately this is not so much plot as it is sap, fluff and some angst. I wanted to flex my writing muscles. and I wanted to put in more 1xR stuff so. voila! Here it is! Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.or the songs. or anything at all. please feed the poor college student. w/reviews of course!  
  
  
  
1 So Close... And Yet So Far  
  
  
  
Part Nine: Stolen Moments  
  
"Relena, what are you doing here?" Heero said authoritatively, recovered from his lapse of hormones. "And dressed like that?" Relena gave him a puzzled look before fingering her sleeveless black silk top and brushing her fingers along the hem of her heather gray miniskirt.  
  
"What's wrong with the way I'm dressed? Don't I blend in?" She winked at him; something was definitely off. "C'mon, let's dance," she suggested cheerfully. Relena was definitely bubbly and a bit perky, but at the moment she seemed like a hyperactive four-year-old eager to try everything at once. He grasped the hand that was tugging at his arm insistently and pulled her back into her seat. "Don't wanna dance huh?" There was another thing: Relena was generally quite articulate, as her job demanded. So, why is she talking like that? "Hey, wanna cherry? The bartender gave me a whole bowl for my martini. They taste really yummy when you put 'em together." She put the bowl between them, grabbed a cherry by the stem and popped it into her mouth. Then she grasped her martini glass between her fingers and took another sip. Heero snatched the glass out of her hands. "Hey! I was drinking that!"  
  
"Relena, have you ever drank anything more than 80 proof?" She gave him another puzzled look.  
  
"Huh? 80 wha?"  
  
"80 proof. 40 percent alcohol. Have you ever imbibed anything with more than that level of alcohol content." She stared at his mouth carefully, trying to concentrate on the words that were coming out of them. After a few moments, when the question finally sank in, she replied.  
  
"Umm. I've had champagne before. Y'know at all those silly banquets? They always serve 'a bit of the bubbly'," she said in a snooty accent.  
  
"Relena, you never drink more than one glass and you carry the same half empty one around for the entire night."  
  
"How'd you know that? Oh wait, I forgot. You're s'posed to be the Perfect Soldier." Her hands flew to her mouth. "I mean-you're not though. You're a normal person and-and" she stuttered, unable to find the word she was looking for. "And you can make mistakes just like the rest of us. You know that right?" His face was expressionless. He had ceased listening to her rambling five minutes ago.  
  
"Okay Relena. Time to go back upstairs." He pulled her to her feet.  
  
"Oh but why? I wanted to dance. I was waiting for you so we could dance!" She grabbed his hands. She stepped closer to him and her hands trailed their way up to his neck. Looking up at him with bright eyes, she pleaded, "one dance." Her soft breath tickled his cheek and the smell of gin and cherries invaded his senses.  
  
"Relena,"  
  
"Isn't dancing nice?" She raised her head to look him in the eyes, the warm scent of her breath tempting him. Gin and cherries, she said it tasted good, I wonder.He licked his lips and stared at her silver-glossed ones, mesmerized by the hypnotic perfume that exuded from them. He leaned down and her eyes closed lazily. He could almost taste the flavor on her breath.  
  
And suddenly, she fell limp in his arms.  
  
He looked down at her, half-startled, then composed himself and supported her weight accordingly. Accurate reaction: amount of alcohol consumed in allotted time, by subject of given body mass and no established threshold. She lasted longer than expected, he calculated as he picked her up and carried her caveman style.  
  
"Fifteen minutes," he called to the manager. The manager gave him a knowing grin at the sight of the girl slung over his shoulder. Heero ignored it and walked out the front door. Glancing around quickly, he walked around to the backdoor of the club and re-entered. Not a good idea to call attention to himself and take the girl up to his room in public view. The questions that would be asked the next morning could be unpleasant. He climbed up the stairs gracefully, as if he weren't even carrying a 100-lb woman over his shoulder.  
  
Opening the door to their room, he surveyed every nook and cranny with a hawk's eye. Satisfied with his examination, he placed Relena on the bed carefully, gently supporting her head as he laid it on the pillow. His eyes skimmed her form and stopped at her boots. She would be uncomfortable sleeping in those. He sat on the edge of the bed precariously, as if he were afraid of getting too comfortable. His hand went to the zipper on her left boot and his thumb gently grazed the soft skin at her knee. He pulled the zipper down matter-of-factly, like he did everything else. Not too rushed, not too slow. His thumb trailed a line along the flesh of her calf as the zipper revealed it. The paleness of her skin peeked out from behind the black leather like the moon behind night clouds. One hand gripped the heel of the boot while the other brushed up the length of her leg and stopped at the knee. He gripped her leg from the back and tugged the boot off. His fingers slid out from behind her knee and delighted at the sensation the delicate skin inspired. The most sensitive part of the body, the Perfect Soldier recalled. It was interesting how often he had used that information to disable his 'obstacles', and now it was noted for no purpose at all. He took off the other boot in a similar manner and sat there for a few moments lost in the marvel that was the human body. Every piece of information came tumbling into his thoughts as he looked at her. This body, that was so strong, yet so vulnerable. Much like the soul within it. This girl who seemed so invincible, looked so fragile and slight as she lay there sleeping.  
  
His eyes glanced at her face, illuminated by the city lights streaming through the window. The black wig looked so wrong, like a puzzle piece that did not fit had been forced into place. He raised her head with a gentle hand and pulled the wig off. Her golden hair spilled out like honey, falling over his hand in silken strands. He cupped her cheek with inattentive tenderness, then gently traced a finger over her elegant brow, brought it down the line of her nose and softly brushed her lips. Those soft shimmering lips he had almost let himself kiss. He trailed his finger down to her chin in a gesture of defeat. He would not linger on the impossible. The finger trailed a line from her chin along her jawbone and then stopped abruptly. Her face was turned away from him, and in the neon glow of light he could make out the yellowing bruises on her neck. He pulled his hand away quickly, like a child burned. He stared at the marks he had inflicted and shook his head slightly, his body involuntarily reacting to his thoughts. No, no, never again. I will never hurt her again. He stepped back slowly until he reached the doorway. He glanced at the door-frame around him as if puzzled how it got there. Then, gathering himself together, he closed the door and walked back down the stairs to do his job.  
  
********************************  
  
The heavy perfume of flowers permeated through the rain as it pounded on the petals of defenseless roses and carnations. The bouquets of flowers lay heaped together on the pavement like an altar of sacrifice. The radiant colors bloomed against the gray cement and the crowd of black umbrellas surrounding them. Under each umbrella stood a somber face with lit candle in hand. The multitude of tiny flames illuminated both the sad expressions of the people and the colorful offerings they had piled before them. The lights flickered as they stood in silence listening to the pounding rain, almost as if waiting for something.  
  
They sheltered the candles in their hands carefully, as if they held some important piece of their lives. As if the candles represented their devotion, their expectations. And as long as these flames survived the night and the rain, there would be hope.  
  
*************************  
  
She was running. She didn't know from what or to where, but she knew she had to keep running. Something was after her. She turned back to look but all she could see was a black Nothingness. And it frightened her. She saw a light ahead and she ran toward it. The light turned into a white blob, which slowly focused until she saw the figures of her brother and Miss Noin waving at her to hurry up, calling her towards them. She called their names.  
  
"Milliardo!" She finally reached them and wanted to embrace them, but they pushed her forward, telling her to keep running. "Wait!" They shook their heads as if to tell her they would be fine but she saw the Nothingness swallow them up as if they had never even been there. "Millie!" She could do nothing but run and keep running. Tears streamed down her face. "Help me, please! Anybody! Heero!" She stopped running abruptly, as his figure appeared a few feet in front of her. "Heero." He raised a gun to her head and cocked it. Her eyes widened, then finally realized that the gun was pointed past her head at the Nothingness behind her. And suddenly, the fear was gone. The Nothingness had ceased its chase. Heero had made it go away. "Thank you, Heero." She wanted to embrace him in her gratefulness, and almost seemed like he was about to accept it but a wall of solid white metal started growing between them. It grew higher until she couldn't see Heero's figure anymore. "Heero! Heero, come back!" The tears started anew. She pounded on the wall with her fists. "Please," she pleaded, "please don't leave me here alone." The wall stopped growing, but Relena couldn't tell properly because she was falling, falling, falling. She wanted to wake up but she couldn't. But then she was warm. and safe. and everything was all right.  
  
********************************  
  
Heero opened the door cautiously, peering in to survey the room before entering. He heard the rustling of bed sheets and froze. Stepping into the room, he stared into the darkness, trying to see if Relena had recovered from her intoxicated state. More rustling. Heero moved closer to the bed and confirmed that Relena was in fact still asleep, albeit having a disturbing dream. Satisfied, he began to undress, pulling his T-shirt over his head and unzipping his jeans to reveal his signature spandex shorts.  
  
"Milliardo." Heero's head snapped up to look at Relena. She was mumbling in her sleep. "Wait." This time she sounded more urgent. Somewhat concerned, Heero walked back over to her bedside. "Millie!" Her head thrashed side to side. Heero was unsure of what to do. Should he wake her up? "Help me, please. Anybody!" Tears were softly streaming down her cheeks now. "Heero!"  
  
"Relena." He called her name, hoping she would wake up at the sound of his voice. "Wake up, Relena." It wasn't working. She continued to toss and turn in her sleeping, her golden hair whipping at her face wildly. He gently nudged her shoulder. "Get up, Relena."  
  
"Heero." Her voice seemed calmer now. Something comforting seemed to have happened in her dream. Heero watched her for a few minutes, making sure that the worst was probably over and she would sleep soundly for the rest of the night. "Thank you, Heero." Heero started. Had she woken up? No, still sleeping. Heero couldn't define the lightness in his chest he felt knowing that she had found comfort from him in her dream.  
  
He stepped away from her bed to lay a blanket on the floor to sleep on. After last night, there was no way he would get into the bed again. His ears perked up at the sound of rustling again. What tortures you in your dream, Relena? He wondered.  
  
"Heero!" He stood up and went back to his previous position next to her bed. "Heero, come back!" The tears came back. He held her hand.  
  
"I'm here, Relena, right here." Why wouldn't she wake up? She must still be unconscious from the alcohol, he calculated. He would probably need to use more force to wake her up. He grabbed her tossing shoulders and shook them firmly. "Wake up!" She lifted her fists up, and pounded on his chest. He tried to grab her wrists, but couldn't get a hold of them for fear of hurting her. He finally settled for wrapping his arms around her, trying to brace her pounding fists against his bare chest.  
  
"Please," her voice pleaded, tears moistening his shoulder, "please don't leave me here alone." He continued to hold her tightly, as she cried on his bare skin. As he rocked her back and forth, her sobs subsided, and she shuddered slightly. He looked down at her face on his shoulder, now completely peaceful. The only trace of her crying, the now drying tears on her cheek. He reluctantly relaxed his hold on her but she did not fall back onto her pillow, as she should have. Instead, she remained attached to his chest, her bare arms wrapped firmly around his trunk. Perplexed, Heero just stared at her, unwilling to force open her embrace. It would be unsatisfactory for her to wake up now that she was finally at peace. Worse, he could hurt her again in the effort. And then there was the third reason for his unwillingness, which his mind would never allow his conscious self to accept. It had been a long day, and all he wanted to do was sleep for the few hours he had time for. So let her be and leaned semi- supine against the headboard. Sleep came easier than he thought it would.  
  
**************************************  
  
An umbrella snapped close, shaking off the raindrops like so many worries finally forgotten. A hand stretched out to the sky, as if in prayer, seeking alms from the heavens. And it seemed these heavens did have pity on the poor souls gathered underneath. The rain had stopped. A successive percussion of umbrellas closing filled the air. And a voice sprang into the air.  
  
Amazing grace,  
  
  
  
One by one, all the voices joined in, singing to the sky, to the ruined scene before them, to their own savior who lay buried beneath it all.  
  
How sweet the sound,  
  
  
  
Their voices carried over the grayness around them, brightening the scene in harmony with the sunlight peering through the clouds.  
  
That saves a wretch like me  
  
From afar, Zechs watched these people in their vigilant devotion to the person they believed had saved their souls. The person who had saved his own soul.  
  
I once was lost,  
  
But now I'm found  
  
A man approached him, eyes hopeful, like any messenger of good news.  
  
"Mr. Peacecraft, sir. We should be able to start digging again as soon as the site is dry enough. We're lucky that it's nice and sunny today. We'll probably be able to get started by midday." Zechs nodded at him and looked back to the singing crowd, his heart singing and praying with them.  
  
Was blind,  
  
But now I see.  
  
******************************** 


	10. All Fall Down

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters…or the songs… or anything at all… please feed the poor college student… w/reviews of course!

_So Close... And Yet So Far Part Ten: …All Fall Down _

Blinding white agony, sharp as knives, pounding into her brain. Relena groaned, writhing in pain and finding her movement barred by some unknown force. It was warm. Hard...yet somehow comforting. She settled further into it, hoping it would take the pain away. It started to pull away, and she was suddenly left cold and vulnerable to her pain. She groaned again. 

"Relena.." The knives in her skull twisted sharply, increasing her agony. She buried her head into the pillow, futilely trying to pad the blows. "Relena.." She cringed again, but the sound was softer now, and not so aggravating to her head. The warmth was back, a comforting presence resting near her shoulder. She craned her neck slowly, trying to keep the fluid that seemed to fog her brain from sloshing around too much. She squinted up at the hard body next her, pins attacking her eyes before finally focusing on bottomless pools of Prussian blue. Heero. Her head flopped down on the pillow, her brow furrowing at the pain the sudden movement had evoked. 

"Unnh.."

"Relena... drink this." His voice losing the softness it had acquired just moments ago.

"Not so loud…" She murmured, cracking open one eye to see Heero offering her a tall glass of water. "Mmm..." She tried to raise herself up to a sitting position, but the swimming pain her head was making it hard for her to make her muscles function. Heero's firm hand supported her back and gently lifted her up. She gulped the water down eagerly, gasping once she had downed half the glass. "What's wrong with me?"

"A hangover is caused by a bodily reaction mechanism to severe dehydration." The words seemed jumbled, incoherent. The letters were bumping around in her brain aimlessly.

"Hangover...?" Eyes widened after a ten second delay and quickly shifted to her attire. Her heather gray skirted had hiked up to an indecent level, baring her legs to the sunlight pouring through the window. She closed her knees awkwardly, feet pointing in opposite directions. She grabbed at the sheet that lay crumpled at the foot of the bed. Pounding. Pounding. Pounding. Her excited heart rate only added to her headache, which throbbed at every echoing beat. 

"Finish the water." Heero commanded, oblivious to her embarrassment. She gave him a look, which changed from her previous nervousness to that of indignation, before imbibing the rest of the cooling elixir. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at the bottom of the glass, and the white crystals that lay settled there. She gave him a furiously questioning look.

"Did you---" 

"Just some sugar and salt to help your system absorb the water more easily," he interrupted before she could finish her verbal accusation. "Let's go. Time for lunch."

"Lunch?"

"It's almost noon," he offered, before taking her hand and helping her out of bed.

************************************* 

The roaring of machines flooded her ears, and she found herself cringing. It wasn't like the roar of thunder that made you shudder, or the majestic roar of a lion. It could never sound so natural as that. Maybe that was why she had escaped to the vacuum of space, where the only sound that could reach her ears was the crackling of voices over the communicator. Where the sounds of buster rifles and mobile suits would be muted. Where she could forget the sounds from her childhood, the sound of machines demolishing her home. She couldn't remember where she got the idea that fighting in the war would end all that destruction, but she had joined Oz with that ideal. And then she had met Relena, that girl who stayed a prisoner on her own brother's command, that girl who would do anything and everything to stop the war, even face a long-lost brother who lingered on the brink of madness. 

Hilde knew then that this would be the last time she would pilot a mobile suit. Because she had found a better way to stop the destruction, a better way to ensure that no child would lose their home or family ever again. 

_But it hadn't been stopped, had it? Hilde mused, bitterly. Perhaps she had been wrong to ever believe that the violence could end. Maybe Relena had been as naive and deluded as all those Romefeller cronies had thought she was. She shivered at the implications of her last thought. Duo wrapped a warm arm around her and gave her a bright smile, but she could see the concern flash through his violet eyes. _

"Noin's over there talking to Sally. Wanna go say hi?" He said it as if he wasn't standing in front of a dismantled building, as if Relena wasn't even buried underneath it. 

But she nodded and forced a smile, if only to reassure him. "Sure," she said, but the word was lost in the shouts that were coming from the site. Everyone in the surrounding area whipped their heads in the direction of the commotion to see what was going on. The earth trembled, and Fate's hesitant hand struck its deadly blow. 

Hilde and Duo ran franticly with Noin and Sally towards the spot where Milliardo stood as an ever-present guardian over his sister.  They watched in horror as what was left of the building's structure gave a final wheeze before collapsing completely.  Milliardo released a strangled cry before launching himself at the rubble.  He clawed at it helplessly. Bloody fingertips grasped the chunks of metal and cement, trying to pry them out, trying to release his sister from her inevitable grave.  He was too weak, he had always been too weak to save his sister, and in helplessness he cried out.

"Help me. Please," he gasped, "help me!" His voice shook everyone from their dazed horror and they approached him slowly and uncertainly.  His dust covered hair and face made him look like a weary old man, hunched over the ground muttering, "help me, God help me" over and over again.  It was Quatre who reached him first and gently grasped his shoulder.

"There's nothing you can do, Milliardo, there's nothing you can do." Milliardo shrugged him off violently.

"I have to save her! I'm her big brother, I'm supposed to protect her." He said stubbornly, trying not to acknowledge the lump in his throat or the tears burning at the corners of his eyes. Duo approached from the other side and grabbed his other shoulder.

"C'mon Zechs, we have to get out of the way.  We don't want to be here when the rest of this collapses." He glanced at Quatre, who nodded as they simultaneously pulled Milliardo away.  He thrashed violently. 

"Get off of me! Let me go!"  The two ex-gundam pilots braced him firmly, tugging him away from the site as he continued his angry shouting. "Get off of me you fools!" When he was a safe distance away from the wreckage, Noin rushed to his side. At the touch of her comforting hands, he broke down completely. "Relena! Relena…"

************************

Relena's fork clattered onto her plate.  Her eyes moistened dangerously as she watched the television screen. She felt as if her heart had dropped into her stomach and leapt into her throat at the same time. 

"Milliardo…" she whispered before covering her mouth with her pale, trembling fingertips. She glanced across the table at Heero, tears sparkling like gems at the corners of her eyes. She stood up abruptly and fled to the door of the diner, Heero at her heels. She stood on the pavement, hand leaning against the brick wall for support as she looked at him in the eyes. "Heero, she said unsteadily "my brother…" Her throat closed up and the rock in her stomach burned painfully before she bent over and released it onto the pavement.

Heero's hand on her back steadied her enough for her to regain her speech. "I have to go to my brother, Heero. I have to tell him I'm alive." Heero grabbed her arm and pulled her across the street, back towards their temporary safe-haven.

"Not here, inside," he whispered in her ear, as he led her to the door of The Rusty Bucket. Once within the confines of the room, Relena released all she had been holding in since she had watched the televised broadcast of the debris' collapse and her brother's reaction. 

"Heero, I've been sitting in this room quietly for two days while the rest of the world has gone upside down.  I don't know how long you expected to keep me here but I have to go back now.  I have to tell them I'm alive.  I can't bear it.  I can't bear knowing that people are in pain because of me. That my brother is in pain because of me." She challenged him with her ocean blue eyes, daring him to stop her.  And Heero realized that maybe it was time she knew the truth. 

Keeping his glare level with hers he started to speak, "We know who planted the bombs." Relena's eyes widened, but she stifled her words, knowing that Heero would tell her what she wanted to know. "General Tausend was a top official in Romefeller.  During the Eve Wars he had accumulated a large fortune and an impressive reputation.  With the dawn of pacifism, he lost most of that.  Becoming a senator of the ESUN was the only way he thought he could regain all that.  Unfortunately, he was one representative among hundreds, and to top it all off he was expected to value the opinions and ideas of a teenage girl."  Indignation flashed on Relena's face, but Heero gave her a look that told her he wasn't done yet.  "He realized the only way to get what he had was to bring back the military, where he could be a general once again and he pushed for re-armament. But as long as you were against it, the bill would never pass.  So he had to get rid of you."

Relena was speechless.  A man, a senator who was supposed to look after the welfare of his constituents, would blow up an entire building just to regain a title?   Didn't he realize that titles were absolutely meaningless, that power was nothing in a world where war would destroy everything?

"I have to talk to him," she said suddenly. "I have to make him see-"

"I don't think so, Relena. You have stay here until we can arrest him and everyone who was involved."

"Everyone? Who else would follow him?"

"You can't have a war without soldiers, Relena.  The Veteran Soldiers Coalition follows him as blindly as they follow you.  Listening to words without actually understanding them."  She had helped form the Veteran Soldiers Coalition, just so this would not happen.  So people like Heero could find their place in the world. She looked into his hard, cold blue eyes. 

"I was so wrong.  I have to fix this, Heero."

Heero gripped Relena's arm firmly. He looked into her eyes and watched in fascination as the greens and blues of her eyes swirled around each other, like the thoughts warring in his own mind. 

"No." he said definitely and deliberately.  A myriad of emotions flashed in his cobalt eyes.  Relena caught them, trying to read them, trying to understand them. But how could she understand what he himself did not?

A million thoughts were echoing in his mind. And underneath them all, a resounding, _What is wrong with me? _

Spend all your time waiting   
for that second chance   
for a break that would make it okay 

He found it hard to rationalize these conflicting feelings of anger and protectiveness._ It's her fault, his stubborn side contended.  He had to be perfect and all this time spent with her in such close proximity was blurring his judgment._

there's always one reason   
to feel not good enough   
and it's hard at the end of the day

_ How can she do this to me? I'm the Perfect Soldier. She's an obstacle! No! I care about her. I have to protect her. Why?  She's important to peace. Is that all? No, she's important to me. Why? I don't know.  She's confusing me.  Relena felt his grip on her upper arm tightening as he battled his thoughts._

I need some distraction   
oh beautiful release 

"Heero…" she said softly, trying to speak to him, she felt as if she had lost him somewhere along the way.  His thoughts were drowning out all external sound, including her voice. _Don't let her leave. Don't let her come too close.  The grip started to become uncomfortable. "Heero," she called, a bit louder.  His eyes were dazed as he struggled to control the thoughts battling in his mind. He no longer saw her or felt her, but Relena was in pain. It felt as though Heero was going to break her arms in two. "Heero!" she gasped out in pain. Her cry broke through like pebble through shattering glass. Startled out of his thoughts, he released his vice-like grip on her frail arms._

_memory seeps from my veins   
let me be empty   
and weightless and maybe_

_I'll find some peace tonight_

His eyes widened in shock as he realized what he had almost done.  _You're a killer. He stared at his hands in horror and he slowly backed away from her. __You destroy everything you touch.  His back hit the wall. He slid down until he was seated on the floor against it with knees bent.  His hands flew to his head as he ran them through his hair thoroughly, trying to brush his thoughts away. _

in the arms of an angel   
fly away from here   
from this dark cold hotel room   
and the endlessness that you fear 

Relena watched him, her heart twisting at the evident pain he was experiencing.  She had thought him a pillar of strength for herself and now she realized her selfishness. He was not a machine, he was a human being, who hurt as much she, or anyone else, did. She slowly walked towards him and knelt beside him.  She touched him lightly on the shoulder. "Heero—" He flinched and tried to back away, but the wall behind him prevented any escape.

you are pulled from the wreckage   
of your silent reverie   
you're in the arms of the angel   
may you find some comfort there

"Don't touch me, Relena.  I'll destroy you. I destroy everything I touch," he voiced his rampant thoughts. She brought her other hand to his knee and sat down, facing him. 

so tired of the straight line   
and everywhere you turn   
there's vultures and thieves at your back   
and the storm keeps on twisting   
you keep on building the lie   
that you make up for all that you lack   
   
  


"You can't hurt me, Heero.  How many times have you tried and failed?  You will never hurt me."  

it don't make no difference   
escaping one last time

He looked at her with the eyes of a lost little boy, tears hanging precariously at the corners. So much pain and confusion. 

_it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh   
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees_

She finally did what she had been longing to do for so long.  Cupping his chin in her hands, she brought her face close to his.  She kissed his eyes, one at a time, softly, as if kissing the petals of a flower. The hesitant tears rolled gently down his face. "I love you, Heero. I will always be here to help you. Please let me."

_  
__in the arms of an angel   
fly away from here_

"Relena—I—you" he stammered, "—too many emotions—I can't decide—I don't understand…" He struggled to express himself, as the tears continued to fall unconsciously. 

  
from this dark cold hotel room   
and the endlessness that you fear 

"I'm here for you, Heero. I promise I'll never leave you.  We'll do this together." 

you are pulled from the wreckage   
of your silent reverie

She stroked his hair and took his head into her arms, trying to comfort him. The outpour of emotions had exhausted him, and he was lulled to sleep by her delicate touch. 

you're in the arms of the angel   
may you find some comfort there

 It would be a sleep like none he had ever had.  Peaceful, dreamless and deep.

you're in the arms of the angel   
may you find some comfort here

*********************************


	11. Showdown

AN: well…it's done folks…the fic that never ends… an epilogue is soon to follow… for all those ppl who have been waiting patiently for this new chapter u have spring break to thank… to my 102 reviewers thank u so much!! u overwhelm me!! I will thank u all individually in the epilogue… anyway…enjoy! Much angst to follow…be prepared! 

So Close... And Yet So Far****

**Part Eleven: Showdown**

It was Lieutenant Dix's lucky day. At least **he** thought so. The Preventers had called to interview him for a position. It was a phone call he had been waiting a whole year for. And now he sat, rather uncomfortably, in an office, which looked more like an interrogation room, being interviewed by two of their top agents. It was a promising day indeed. 

Most of the questions seemed to be focused on his previous work experience, which was not much, but thanks to Senator Tausend's recommendations he was confident he had enough credentials.

"So the Senator singled you out to be a member of his Elite Military?" Trowa Barton's level voice stated, rather than asked.

"Well, it wasn't just me. He had a few of us take some Test Sims and he was really impressed by my skills. He told me he'd have me promoted to Captain, once his legislation passed."

"Did he explain why he was trying to form this military unit in the first place?" Dix sensed a slight irritation in Preventer Chang's voice as he posed that question, and the young interviewee sought to compensate for that in his answers.

"Actually, I think it's a really good idea. Since the Preventers act mostly as a police force, they're not as efficient in handling civil wars and situations like that. Just yesterday, the Senator gave a speech telling us about the unrest in South America. There are bombings like the one at the conference happening there all the time. But of course you guys knew that." He flashed them a brief smile, but, seeing none in return, he rambled on. "I'm just thinking… What if the terrorists who bombed the conference came from there? If we had that unit from the beginning this never would've happened, right?" 

Wufei and Trowa exchanged quick glances, but as Wufei opened his mouth to reply he was cut off by the buzz of the vid-com. 

"Chang," was the curt greeting he gave to the vid-phone. Neither of the other two occupants of the room could hear or see what the person on the other side of the link was saying. However, they did notice the color drain from the Preventer's face and they watched as his knuckles whitened from gripping the edge of the desk so tightly. He bowed his head forward as if in defeat. "I understand," he said in a voice so forced, even Trowa was alarmed. Dix glanced at both of them worriedly, but said nothing. Trowa broke the silence by addressing the lieutenant.

"We'll give you a call in a few days, Lieutenant. Thank you for coming in on such short notice. Did you have anything else you wanted to ask him, Wufei?" He asked his still pale comrade. Wufei shook his head wordlessly and Dix hurriedly left the room.

"She's dead." Trowa looked up at him in disbelief. He wanted to ask 'who?' knowing full well there was only one person whom he could be talking about.

"How?" Trowa forced the word through the lump that was forming in his throat. 

"The rest of the structure collapsed," Wufei trailed off.

"She could still be-" Trowa almost pleaded.

"No. You know full well it was a long shot even to think she could have survived the blast," he said in bitter anger. Composing himself, he continued, "We've been ordered to put a tail on that dishonorable coward of a senator. Now that she's finally out of the way, there's no telling what he might do."

"We have to find Heero," Trowa said suddenly. 

"Buzz his com-link. I'll meet you out front." And with bitter resolve, Chang Wufei left the room prepared to deliver justice.

***************************** 

He was floating in nothingness, completely weightless. 

And suddenly Heero fell, as if from a great height, onto the wooden floor beneath him. He awoke with a start, expecting to have injured himself in the fall, but as he looked around he realized he had not actually fallen. The beeping of his mobile-com was most likely the sound that had woken him. He didn't remember actually falling asleep though. His last lucid memory was of…

Relena. 

And then the panic set in. 

His heart pounded in his chest and he realized his com was still beeping. He fumbled with the hand-held device before finally answering it with a frantic, "Hello??" Trowa's voice on the other end of the link seemed startled at the emotion evident in Heero's rusty voice. 

"Heero? We've been ordered to put a tail on Tausend. We could use your help." Tausend. The name echoed in his brain and filled him with dread. And he remembered her soft, yet determined voice: I have to fix this. "Heero?"

"Meet me in front of his office at the Capitol." His voice sounded strange, as if he hadn't used it in years. "Bring back-up. Hurry."

"Are you ok?" 

"No." And with a resounding click, Heero cut off the line.

********************************

With every step she climbed, her determination mounted.  Relena supposed she was fortunate that the Capitol building housed such an impressive staircase.  It had not been easy to leave Heero, especially now as it seemed his barriers had fallen.  She had never seen him look so peaceful or relaxed, but she had a responsibility to the world, to herself, and, most importantly, to Heero.  The promise she had made to herself that night, when she had observed the scars on his body, was not one she took lightly. 'Heero will never fight again,' she reaffirmed her vow.  She would die for this cause, for him, if it came down to it; she had never been afraid of death.  The only thing that held her back was the image of her brother, his tragic figure clawing at the rubble, thinking she was inside.  If only she could give him the reassurance that she was alive and well. But here she was, walking into the lion's den.

The door to Tausend's temporary office was closed, but she could hear his voice rumbling behind it.  Taking a deep breath she turned the doorknob and entered the room.  His back was toward her as he spoke to the vidphone and he didn't turn until the door clicked closed behind her.  She pulled off her hat and her golden hair tumbled around her shoulders.  His eyes widened in shock and he stood abruptly, hastily disconnecting the phone despite the protests of the man on the other end of the line.

"You!" He exclaimed, his face pale with disbelief.

"Why, Senator, you look as though you've seen a ghost."

*******************************

The sky was bleeding. Heero regarded the sunset and remembered that the sun had also been setting that day on the beach, when he first met the girl who would be his undoing. The sky was red that day too, but back then he'd dismissed it as a diffraction of light waves in the atmosphere. Today the thin white clouds looked like scratch marks clawed, as if in anger, across the sky. They dripped blood as the wounded sun sank to its death into the horizon. And Heero was afraid of what it portended.

His mind was cluttered with thoughts and memories and, for once, emotions, when all he wanted was to get to Tausend…and to Relena.  

_Be careful, Heero._

_You don't have to worry about me…_

_…Don't ask me not to worry for you. Because I want to._

'No! No…' He didn't want to think about this now. He had to get to her before…before…

Heero, I know too much. That's why I have to be killed, right?

  
Yes.

  
I didn't want to die without knowing why. But now, I feel different. I somehow understand why you have to keep on fighting. And now, I'm fighting beside you.

Beside me...?

Why did all this have to come to him now? His shields had crumbled and the deluge couldn't be stopped.  Where was she? Why had she done this to him?

I will always be here to help you.

But she wasn't.  She had run away from him.  How could he let this happen?

I promised I'd protect you. To protect you and the earth sphere... the only way I can is to fight.

No! No! You're planning on dying aren't you?

He should have.  He should have died back then on Libra.  If he had known living would be like this…

And suddenly he was opening the doors to the Capitol building, running up the stairs.  He came face to face with Trowa, who gave him a questioning look, while Wufei stood to the side looking impatient.

"You knew, didn't you?" Wufei accused, with a hint of betrayal in his voice. "They're both inside…talking."  Heero felt his chest expand at those words.  She was alive. 

I promise I'll never leave you.  

He had to look inside, had to see her to know everything would be all right again.   He eased the door open a crack.

"I am only one, but still I am one," her voice filtered through the space.  "I cannot do everything; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the one thing that I can do."  He could see her proud profile, but the Senator was not in the line of sight.

"I'm afraid I'm a little sick of your pretty speeches, Minister." Heero watched her eyes widen slightly and recognized her expression from the many times he had been the receiver of it. 

You know too much! Goodbye, Relena!

He has a gun, the thought streaked through his mind as he slammed the door open with his own gun drawn, the older man now in his line of fire.  Startled, the senator pulled the trigger.  From that moment, everything seemed to be moving in slow motion.

Heero's own gun firing as he heard the senator's shot. 

Relena's surprised gasp from the other side of the room.

The senator's gun falling from his hand to the ground as his grip shattered into blood.

Wufei launching a punch at the senator.

When Heero turned, the blood was rushing in his ears and his breath was coming out in erratic gasps.  Relena had fallen to her knees and was clutching her abdomen tightly.  In his mind, it all seemed like a dream, and he realized it was.  It was his nightmare coming true.  Just as it had that night, the blood seeped through her fingers and she looked up at him.  They were no longer in Tausend's office, but in his dream, at the park.  This time Dr. J was nowhere to be found, but still Heero was frozen in place, paralyzed by the sight of Relena's blood.  

"Heero," she whispered, tears coming to her eyes. She lifted a bloodied hand toward his face, once again mimicking his nightmare.

"No…" he rasped. It couldn't be real.  This couldn't be happening.  Not now. Maybe if he touched her, she would disappear, like the dream she so resembled. He grabbed her shoulders, and fell to his own knees when he realized he was gripping flesh. "No, you can't!" She fell against him, her blood-covered hand cupping his face.

"I'm sorry," she whispered through her tears.

I promise I'll never leave you. 

"You promised! You lied to me," he gasped out against his own tears. "You can't leave me! You promised. I won't let you." 

"I'm so sorry, Heero.  I just want you to remember," she rested her head against his shoulder out of weakness, "it's not your fault." Her hand slipped from his face, leaving a thick smear of dark blood down his cheek. "I love you."

His anguished cry broke out to the darkening heavens as her hand dropped limply to the side.

"Relena!" 

**************************************
    
    _memories are just where you laid them_
    
    _drag the waters 'till the depths give up their dead_
    
    _what did you expect to find?_
    
    _was there something you left behind?_
    
    _don't you remember anything i said when i said_
    
    _don't fall away, and leave me to myself_
    
    _don't fall away and leave love bleeding_
    
    _in my hands, in my hands again_
    
    _leave love bleeding _
    
    _in my hands, in my hands_
    
    _love lies bleeding_

~Fuel (Hemorrhage)


	12. Epilogue: Staring Down the Sun

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters…or the songs… or anything at all… please feed the poor college student… w/reviews of course!

**So Close... And Yet So Far**

**Epilogue: Staring Down the Sun**

The sunrise crept over the horizon like honey dripping from a comb.  The warm golden rays embraced the rooftops with their viscous light.  Hilde sighed languorously before dropping the lace curtain of their honeymoon suite.  She turned to look at Duo's sleeping form, draped over the queen-sized bed.  His unbound hair was strewn haphazardly across his bare back like maple syrup running down in golden brown rivulets.  She grinned at the thought, and realized the imagery must be coming from her empty stomach.  It seemed the couple had different ways of compensating after such an intense 'workout'. She ran a delicate fingertip along his cheek, down to his shoulder and traced the side of his ribcage until he woke with a snort.  

"Morning?" he mumbled turning his head in her direction. 

"Morning," she confirmed and bent down to kiss his forehead.  "I'm gonna order some breakfast."

"Mmm…breakfast," he smiled before sitting up and stretching.  He wrapped an arm around her bare shoulders and nuzzled her neck.  "Did you sleep at all?"

"A little," she confessed, "but I got up a little before dawn to watch the sunrise." He rubbed his eyes.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"  She grinned at him and tapped his chest lightly.

"I didn't have the heart. You were snoring." An indignant expression passed across his features.

"I don't snore." 

"Whatever you say, honey." She tweaked his nose. Her eyes brightened. "Speaking of which, I'm in the mood for some toast with honey," she exclaimed before he could say another word. Whatever had been on the tip of his tongue was forgotten at the mention of food. 

"Toast?  I could go for a stack of pancakes a mile high right now.  I'm starving!" He leaned back against the cherry oak headboard with his hand clasped behind his head as she dialed room service and made the order. He watched as she cradled the phone against her shoulder to flip through the menu and couldn't resist extending a hand to caress the smooth curve of her neck that was exposed to him.  She leaned into his hand as she hung up, and flung the menu aside.

"I'm so glad we decided to elope," he commented as he pulled her into his arms.  She leaned back against his chest and clasped his hand in her own.

"Oh?" She craned her head back to look at him. He bent down to kiss her deeply before continuing.  

"I can't imagine having had to wait three more months to have this honeymoon."  She shifted against him, pulling his arms tighter around her.

"I know what you mean," she sighed, "but still, I feel bad about leaving everyone else out of it."

"I don't think anybody was really in the mood for a wedding right now," Duo replied. "Well, maybe Quatre.  He probably would've wanted to pay for it or something."

"Did you tell him about it?" Duo paused and leaned his head against hers.  When his silence seemed too extended she pulled back to look at him. "Duo?"

"He's got a lot on his mind right now.  Heero's been staying at his house since…well, for the past three months." His tone was soft and serious.

"Is he going to be ok?"

"I dunno. I hope so.  Quatre's sister is supposed to be the best in the business." He furrowed his brow.

"Quatre's lucky to have a psychiatrist in the family," she replied pensively.

"Yeah well, with 29 sisters one of 'em is bound to be useful." He grinned, trying to lighten the mood.  She could see through all his tricks now though, and didn't take the bait in changing the subject.

"Did you want to go visit him?"  He loosened his embrace around her and leaned back.

"I don't know. Dorothy's there, keeping an eye on him.  She says she owes it to Relena to look out for him.  I personally think she has a thing for Quatre."  He half-smiled at Hilde, who only looked back at him wordlessly, waiting for him to continue.  "I don't think he wants to see me."  

"Duo, you know what happened at the hospital was just—"

"Yeah, I know he didn't mean it.  But I can't see him. Not yet at least.  Maybe when he's better." She crawled out of his lap and reached for the phone again. "Who are you calling?"

"Quatre.  We should tell him about our wedding, and we can ask about Heero, too."

"I dunno, Hil—" She shoved the phone in his ear.

"It's ringing," she whispered.

"Winner residence."

"Hey Quatre."

"Oh! Duo, it's been a while.  How are you?"

"Oh, you know…" he hesitated.  Hilde gestured impatiently for him to continue. "I hear you've got a full house down there."

"Oh? Ohhh yes, actually, Trowa stopped by today to see Heero, but I'm afraid he's…busy.  So, Trowa has been spending the afternoon with Miss Dorothy."  Quatre didn't seem very pleased as he said this.  Making fun would have been too easy, so Duo let it pass.  Instead he cleared his throat and asked the question that had been on the tip of his tongue.

"So…how is…he?" Hilde rolled her eyes at him and flopped back on the bed.  Duo frowned at her and shrugged his shoulders, asking wordlessly what else she wanted from him.  

"He's much better," Duo could hear the smile in Quatre's voice.

"Better, huh? Back to normal?"

"No," he intoned, "better than normal. You should really come down and see him, Duo." A knock at the door startled Duo, who had been deeply engrossed in the conversation.  He looked quizzically at Hilde, who gave him her own 'what's wrong with you?' look, before whispering "room service" and going to answer the door. "Yeah, maybe I will." He watched as Hilde pushed in a cart of heavenly breakfast food.  "Listen Quatre, room service is here, so I gotta go."

"Room service?" came Quatre's puzzled reply from the other end of the line.

"Yeah," Duo said, as if it should have been obvious. "Oh! Yeah, I'm at a hotel," he added once he realized his mistake, "with Hilde.  We're in a suite.  The honeymoon suite actually."

"Ok." Quatre still seemed slightly puzzled. "Oh honeymoon! Duo! Congratulations! When did you—"

"Last night.  We're on L2.  We got hitched at the new Maxwell Church."

"Well that's great! Why didn't you tell me beforehand? What hotel are you staying at? I know a lot of really nice spots on L2.  Just let me make some phone calls and I can get you a—"

"No, Quatre, that's okay, really. Me and Hil wanted to keep it simple. We're at a nice place. It's classy, just more cozy than what you have in mind I think."  He looked around the room proudly as Hilde twirled a fork in his face.  "OK. Now I really have to go, Quat. Feel free to spread the news. I'll catch ya later, bro."

"Goodbye, Duo.  And kiss the bride for me." 

"You bet I will," he grinned, before hanging up.

Quatre smiled softly to himself as he stood thoughtfully by the old-fashioned mother-of-pearl rotary phone.  Married. At least something good came out of this mess.  Heero would be pleased to hear about his friends' happiness, he was sure.  He'd have to tell him once his session was done.

************************

The woman who sat behind the desk facing Heero was almost pretty, he surmised.  She had blonde hair and blue eyes, and he wondered, if it were not for those features that reminded him of Relena, whether he would still consider her so. He supposed that her possessing enough of Quatre's open expression and Relena's familiar features made it easier to talk to her.  She watched him patiently with her warm eyes. 

"I think it's time to talk about what happened that day.  Do you think you can?"

That day.  The day she was shot.  The day he went crazy. That day.

There were still parts that hurt when he thought about them, but it was easier to remember now, to examine the emotions behind his actions.

Heero felt as if the air had turned into a viscous fluid, making his movements seem slow and his mind feel clouded.  His breaths were shallow and the voices around him seemed muffled.  He could decipher enough from his surroundings to know he was in a hospital waiting room. The trip to get there was a blur; the sirens of the ambulance sounded like echoes from afar and the lights had blinked hazily, so he had not recognized them for what they were.  

The fluorescent lights flickered dully above him, strengthening the illusion of the thick gray liquid around him. His heart was pounding within him. Pounding. Pounding. Pounding. When his head hit the wall behind him, he realized the pounding was coming from Zechs' fists. The other occupants of the room finally restrained the angry prince and Heero, his mind somewhat clearer than before, noted the approach of a doctor. The doctor began to speak slowly and deliberately, but Heero's attention wandered.  He observed Dorothy clutching Quatre's arm tightly, and wondered absently if the blond pilot could feel her fingernails through his sleeve.  His gaze finally wandered back to the surgeon and he grasped at the string of words coming out of the doctor's mouth.

"…Lost a lot of blood.  We haven't examined the extent of the organ damage as of yet, but that will determine her chances for survival.  We'll inform you as soon as we have a better picture." He hesitated before continuing, his eyes sweeping the room.  "We also noticed some severe bruising on her upper arms and neck.  They look to be about two days old, maybe less." Everyone's attention turned to Heero then. He could feel their eyes burning accusations into him. He had to look away, his sight falling upon his bloodied hands, examining the way the maroon liquid had seeped into every crack and crevice, trying to brand itself there, so his guilt would be evident to everyone. 'This is what happens when you get too close' the soldier in him whispered.

A hand clasped his shoulder and he recoiled violently, shoving a startled Duo to the linoleum floor, where he slid until he hit the opposite wall. Duo looked up at him, hurt evident in his wide violet eyes.

"Don't. Touch. Me." The words came out as a warning growl, betraying none of the desperate fear in his thoughts. He would end up hurting everyone he was close to.  His mind warred with him. How could he protect them without getting close? And he remembered Relena again.  He had been so close then, right outside the door. Still, he hadn't been able to save her. So close…and yet so far. He snickered through the sobs he wasn't aware he'd been producing.  His haunting laughter echoed through the sterile hospital halls.  He couldn't remember when it finally stopped.

But it had. When he woke, he'd found himself strapped to a bed, looking up at this woman who reminded him so much of Relena, it pained him to look at her.  He had felt enormous guilt, which now that he thought about it, was completely illogical.  He had not pulled the trigger that day.  What he felt presently was regret. Regret that he had not acted more quickly. Regret that he had not said everything he wanted to say.  But what would he have said?

"She told me she loved me."

"How did that make you feel?"

"I don't know. Confused.  Did I love her, too?  Was that the reason I felt so out of control around her?  If I loved her then, does that mean I still love her?"

"Do you?"

"I don't know.  I still haven't figured out what love is.  I was attracted to her. I tried to kiss her.  That's not the same, is it?"

"Not necessarily. Love is a very complex emotion.  Nobody really has a definition for it."  No definition? Did such a thing exist? An idea that could not be put into words.  And that was exactly what his feelings regarding Relena were: indefinable. Still, his mind needed to make some sense out of them, needed to categorize them so he could judge them properly.

"What do you think it is? In your opinion, what is love?" She looked at him with Quatre's eyes; hesitant, yet compassionate.

"Love is different for everyone," she began, then paused and thought better of it.  She leaned forward over her desk, elbows resting firmly on the surface of it. "In my opinion, above all other attributes of love are mutual respect and understanding.  The ability to know how another person feels without needing to talk and knowing what they need without their having to ask." She tilted her head to regard his reaction.  He looked back at her pensively, trying to determine whether his feelings fit under these criteria.  He did respect Relena, and he understood all her reasons for the things she did, but did he know what she needed? He didn't even know she loved him until she actually told him.  Then again, maybe he did know, but was unwilling to admit that someone could feel something like that for him, that _she_ could feel something like that for him

"Heero?" The doctor's voice interrupted his musings. "This is our last session and our time is almost up. Is there anything else you want to discuss?"  His thoughts left Relena and now turned back to himself.  Was that it? Three months of therapy had brought him to this moment.  Was he content with himself yet?  Could he make it on his own in the real world, with real people? He hadn't felt so uncertain about anything in his life, and he realized this was his answer.  He finally felt human, normal.  He looked into her calm blue eyes with a gaze free of any obstruction, light and clear. 

"I—no, there's nothing I need to say. Except," he paused, weighing his words. "Thank you, Nora."  He stood up and she mirrored his action, smiling softly. He turned to leave but hesitated, looking back at her before finally stepping up to her desk and extending his hand.  Her smile broadened as she shook it warmly.

"Good luck, Heero.  I hope you find happiness."

*************

Hesitation was paralyzing, Quatre decided as he watched Trowa and Dorothy conversing quietly on the other end of the veranda.  Should he go and join them? It looked like they were deep in conversation… a little too deep perhaps?  And here lay his dilemma.  Were his reasons for interrupting them rooted in jealousy? It would be wrong of him to go over if that were his motivation.  But then, he had no one else to talk to, and they were his guests, so it would be perfectly understandable.  His golden brows furrowed; he was really over-thinking this. So what if his feelings went a little further than friendship for—but that wasn't the point.  He should just go over and keep some pleasant company.  As he moved to go to them, a voice startled him.

"That's something I didn't expect."  Quatre turned to see Heero standing behind him. Quatre gave him an innocent look.

"What?"

"I mean Trowa and Dorothy Catalonia. I thought she hated him."  Quatre smiled slightly, before replying.

"The war is over, Dorothy has changed quite a bit.  I think she's realized how much they have in common."  Heero digested this statement thoughtfully.

"Do people need to have a lot in common to love each other?" Quatre looked back sharply.

"Love?"

"Yeah. Can two people who are very different really love each other?"  Quatre scanned Heero's face pensively, trying to understand the underlying question in his words.  He was feeling rather defensive all of a sudden.

"I think real love doesn't have to rely on similarity of temperament.  Two people in love compensate for each other until they're two people making up one complete whole." His gaze turned to the couple standing but a few feet away.  "Your strengths are found in their weaknesses and their strengths in your weaknesses.  You're so intertwined that sometimes it's hard to tell whose traits are whose, where you end and they begin. It's always give and take." He trailed off softly. He looked up shaking himself out of his wandering thoughts. "Sorry, Heero, I just sort of started rambling.  What brought that question on anyway?" Heero looked him in the eye, dark blue uncertainty meeting Quatre's ocean blue concern, but his reply was interrupted by the sound of a car engine rumbling into the long drive surrounding the grounds. "Oh! They're here." 

Heero stood frozen at his spot on the veranda, watching the limo pull to a stop. A soft breeze ruffled his hair and sunlight filtered in and out of the drifting clouds, intermittently illuminating and shadowing his motionless figure.  The sound of braking tires caught the attention of the other two guests and they looked up, turning to walk toward the vehicle. The large door opened revealing the boot-clad foot of one Chang Wufei, dressed impeccably in his Preventer uniform.  The driver's door opened as well, and Sally Po stepped out from behind it.  She waved as Quatre, Dorothy and Trowa approached.  

As expectantly as Wufei held the passenger door open, so did Heero hold his breath.  He couldn't move, not until he saw the pale leg he'd once removed a knee-high boot from extend out to the ground.  Those graceful feet were now encased in delicate white sandals, the knees covered with the soft ruffle of a pale blue skirt.  A slender hand reached out to Wufei's browned one, and as a golden head rose out of the vehicle, Heero felt his chest collapse with his released breath. 

She was here.

And she was blinding.

His feet moved of their own accord, Heero's only conscious thoughts directed at the sight she made, healthy, beautiful…alive. She smiled at Quatre and Heero's heart skipped a beat.  She finally looked around and spotted him striding purposefully toward her.  Her own body moved to meet him, eyes twinkling, cheeks blossoming with warmth.

"Hello Heero," she said softly, trying to keep the smile on her face from extending too far. "How are you?"

"I'm…fine," Heero stumbled over the words, his mouth suddenly dry and his mind blank of all the things he'd wanted to tell her, to ask her.  Her delicate fingers weaved through his and he tensed at the sensation.  This was real. She was real.  His fingers grasped hers back firmly as she led them down the drive, away from the others.  

"I'm sorry I couldn't come see you earlier.  My wound is finally healed, still a little tight but that doesn't stop people from expecting me to get things done." Her free hand went to touch her side, and Heero had to stop his own hand from following. "It's so frustrating how I have to worry about everyone else in the world before I can worry about those I…care about. I've just been to see Milliardo and Lucrezia and their new baby.  They had a girl, you know, who I'm sure Millie is going to spoil to bits." She smiled broadly, taking his other hand and turning to face him. "You look so different," she sighed softly, tracing his features with her aqua eyes. "And you didn't answer my question. How are you?"

At this, the warmth in her eyes, the concern in her features, the closeness of her body, he spoke.

"Fine," he repeated, "better.  You're right.  I am different.  I feel different." He paused, "I'm in love."  She started noticeably at this, looking into his eyes, scanning for something more. 

"Who?" she whispered, so softly it was more a gust of air through her pursed lips than a spoken word.  He cocked his head, trying to gauge her expression.

"She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.  Not just physically, but inherently.  Some times I feel like I know her so well, and other times like I've only discovered one layer of the mystery that she is.  I can't breathe sometimes when I think of her.  I never knew what it meant, to have these thoughts about someone, but I understand now."  He stared down into her eyes, his own burning as blue as a newly born star. "I love her." 

Relena's hands were trembling inside his own, her expression unreadable.  

"Does she love you back?" Her voice wavered, straining against something.  His gaze still locked on hers he replied.

"Yes.  I think so."  She threw her arms around his waist, her face muffled against his chest.

"I'm so happy for you, Heero.  I'm so glad you're finally happy."  Heero's gaze dropped to the crown of her honey hair, as she turned it to the side, still pressed against his chest.  "Am I going to meet her?"  Heero pulled her up to look at her in surprise.

"Meet who?"

"Quatre's sister. She's the one right?  Everyone tells me how wonderful she is." Her nose was slightly red and her eyes suspiciously bright through her polite smile.

"Relena," he stared at her incredulously, "what are you talking about?"  Her smile faltered.

"You don't want me to meet her."  Heero's head spun with the ridiculousness of it all. Maybe he wasn't clear. He'd never been good at communicating his emotions, and even though he'd learned so much these past few months he was uncertain that it was enough.  If words couldn't do it, he'd have to find another way.  He grasped her shoulder with one hand, bringing the other to her jaw line as he leaned down and kissed her firmly on the mouth. She seemed surprised at first but she finally caught on, breaking away to look at him.

"I—but—you..." It seemed as though Relena wasn't any better with words than he was, but she giggled and embraced him again, her face buried in the crook of his shoulder as the tears that had brightened her eyes just moments before came tumbling down in relief.  When she pulled away this time he was smiling. 

"You have beautiful teeth, Heero. I've never seen you smile that way before," her voice filled with happy wonder. 

"I was saving it for you," he replied, his smile softening. "I've been saving this, too."

And he kissed her again.

This was love…bringer of happiness and sorrow, and fear and courage, life and death. Infinite and changeable like the universe itself: no form, no void, no category, no shelf or label. It was to be and they were in some way, in every way, to be of it.

THE END

(last paragraph written by coley merrin in an essay on love)

AN: that's it guys… the end of this fic… never thought I'd live to see the day… but how could I do it without all your encouragement…?  So here are my thanx to all those who ever reviewed this fic.

First, to those people who liked it from its inception, I look back on what I wrote then and cringe..but you guys liked it enough to review way in its immature beginning. So thank you:

Tomorrow, Sliver Dreamcatcher, Insane Pineapple, September Violets, Draven Diabella, Chibi Reli, LittlePet, mama-sama, angelic1090, Airurando, Tenoko, LadySaturn2, Dionysos, Shadow Reader, Baby, Responsible Reader, ~sweetangel~, Foole, JK, Meatballhead120, AznxAngel, and sorrow… you guys really made me feel like this story was worth writing…

To my comrades, who I've met through ML's and by reading their own excellent fics, you guys offered me the encouragement and insight to make this fic worth over a hundred reviews. I bow humbly in thanx to you:

KMF (my guru), Moonk (my cheerleader), Zap (my kindred spirit), Loyce (my hentai goddess), Smartycat (my beloved imouto-chan), Raine (my queen of angst), KaT (my heartwarmer), and Chibi Cat (my insane fan)

…you guys rock!

And everyone else who's kept reviewing, especially those who came back for more, you guys really make me feel appreciated. Thank you from the bottom of my heart:

Ebony, Cynthia, ka-chan, angel blueflame, Winnie2, TEF, Jaxie, aga_xris, ^.^Cat, Destinys Serenade, Jem Star, Crystal, Lindsay, @(^^)@, Koneko-chan2, AngeloflightPd, trikster, karaimo, Rhiannonn, mya, MaraLaeh Lynn, apol, sweet_angel, Tyson Janetzki, Silent Sensei, zero, Valerian, pokey, Empress Sarah-sama, S. Wing, ?, deathangel, Star Pheonix, sai, The Fic Critic, BrittanyRae, Joy, dee, Maxine-chan, herina, Tansy, Neo G-Pilot, leslie, LSR_7, Dark Mistress, Peanutbutter1, and AyanamiChan!! 

Just your sheer number is enough to make my heart swell… this fic is dedicated to all of you… I hope you enjoyed it!


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